The first thing Thud did when he saw the tree was pick up his toy baseball bat, look at me with delight in his eyes and ask, “hit tree?”
And welcome to Christmas with a two year old.
Christmas is all about the kids. Santa, the reindeer, the presents… it’s all for them and they make everything more fun and magical. There’s nothing like seeing the joy in a little person’s face when they see a christmas tree all lit up. They are the reason we go to so much effort.
They also ruin absolutely everything they touch.
It’s the Great Battle of Christmas as parents try their hardest to make it special and magical and memorable… and kids try their hardest to break and shatter and destroy everything in their path. They’re like drunken elves hellbent on making Santa pay for years of slave labour.
WHY WON’T THEY JUST STOP AND APPRECIATE ALL THE EFFORT? WHHHYYY?
I believe this is the reason Santa exists. He is merely a pawn in our parenting game of making someone else responsible for our children’s happiness. And making our children behave for the sake of someone other than their parents. “Don’t you dare hit your sister or Santa won’t come!”
I decided (naively. Stupidly) that I wanted Thud to help me decorate the tree. Yes, ok, I hear all you more experienced parents groaning at what was a rookie error.
It was a traumatic experience. I gave him a couple of decorations and showed him how to put them on the branches. He looked at me like I was dumb, told me it was “a bit hard” and then proceeded to turn a whole box of baubles upside down.
He then followed me around the tree, removing each decoration as I carefully placed it. As I crouched to put the non-breakable pieces at the bottom of the tree, he climbed up my back and told me to giddyup. As I stood to put the delicate baubles up the top he grabbed any weapon he could find to bat them down. As I tried to decorate the window side of the tree he pushed past me and nearly knocked the tree over.
It was a ridiculous disaster that took four times longer than it should have but somehow we made it and the tree was finished. For about 5 minutes. Days later and it has turned into an ongoing battle to keep things hanging on the tree. Refugees have been found stranded throughout the house. Discarded like sparkly rejects of joy. They look so lost and lonely.
The toddlerfication of Christmas doesn’t stop at the tree. It goes under the tree too. Apologies to my family who may have wanted presents that have been wrapped and kept looking like new. That’s probably not on the cards this year.
I’ve considered taking them away but the tree looks so sad without presents underneath. I’m going to persevere. I have to.
I’ll also have to monitor the advent calendar closely. It was a hit last year but Thud has learnt that wrapped packages usually have something good inside and so he wants ALL THE THINGS. ALL THE TIME. Patience is not a skill we have learnt in this household.
We haven’t even attempted the Santa photo yet. Last year traumatised me and I’m not sure I can go through that again…
Further evidence of the Thud led warfare on my perfect christmas:
I know by the time Christmas rolls around the house will be in pieces and I’ll be shouting “SANTA IS WATCHING” every three minutes, but I’ll be sad when it’s all over. Won’t I?
If you’re living in Canberra and still haven’t sorted your tree, make sure you contact the Christmas Tree Truck and order yours ASAP. It’s beyond easy to order online. They’ll go and pick a tree from the farm just for you, they’ll drop it off to your house, set it up and they’ll even come and pick it up after Christmas so you’re not left to lug it to the tip all by yourself. COULDN’T BE EASIER.
There’s nothing like the smell of a real tree. It’s like being smacked in the face by Santa every time you walk in the door.
Use the code CTT15%OFF to get 15% of all orders. Merry Christmas! xxx
What’s christmas in your house like? Do you have a half bare tree and no presents on display?