Tag:

car

The day I should have died

written by Lauren

It was May 2009 and my car was only FIVE days old. If I’d been in my old car (which was a pile of crap) I wouldn’t have walked away from this.

I didn’t do anything when the van hit my car. I didn’t swerve, I didn’t hit the brakes, I didn’t even take my foot off the accelerator. I was frozen as I saw the tree coming straight at me.

I don’t think my life flashed before my eyes. I didn’t see major events from my childhood play out in front of me. I do remember looking at that tree and thinking, “and now I die”, because people don’t survive when their cars hit trees or poles. I wasn’t scared but I was sad.

I didn’t want to die.

August 23, 2015

What it’s really like to drive with a toddler in the car

written by Lauren

There is no worse driver on the road than a mother with a small child in the car. I’m sorry, but it’s true. If you’re looking for the driver who’s paying the least attention to the road, you’ll find her behind the wheel of the car with the ‘Baby on Board’ sign swinging in the back window.

As proficient as you might have been before children, it all goes out the window when you’ve got a human distraction screaming at you from the back seat.

After much scientific research*, I’ve put together this pie chart to show how the average mother’s time is spent when driving with a toddler in the car:

August 9, 2015

A supermarket adventure

written by Lauren

Once upon a bright but frosty morning, a woman named Lauren was given a Ford Kuga Titanium. Just like that. The keys were hers. But only for six weeks. She was told to make the very most of this time and to take her chariot on many magical adventures and to write back with tales of her travels. After six weeks, on the strike of midnight the car would be turned back into a pumpkin. Or something like that. So Lauren set out on her adventures. Her first was to the mystical Kingdom of Coles, which is the only kind of adventure a mother of a two-year-old gets to endure enjoy. This is her tale….

They say mums can lift cars off crushed babies. Apparently a mother’s love gives us super human strength.

I think it also has something to do with all the shit we have to carry around every day.

The mum lifting the car hasn’t only got her primal love and mother’s instinct working in her favour. She’s also been lugging around a lump of a child, a nappy bag, eight bags of shopping, various toys and entertainment devices all day, every day. It’s a helluva workout.

It also makes you feel like a packhorse, pining for the days when leaving the house meant picking up your clutch and your keys and walking out the front door. What folly.