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About Thud

About Thud

So this was me.

Lauren.

TV, radio and online journalist.

this was me

Aussie Prime Ministers, past and present. Malcolm Fraser, Bob Hawke, Julia Gillard and Tony Abbott

and then….

THUD

Whacked upside the head with motherhood.

that's my bubba

And now? Slowly accepting things will never be the same.

HI-2

I’ve heard a brand new mum say the following three sentences, in quick succession, without the slightest hint of irony:

“I never knew a love like this existed.”

“I feel like I was born to be a mother.”

“I feel like I might burst with happiness.”

I started to look under her hospital bed for booze.

When she started to tell me how “wonderful” she felt after pushing a sizeable infant out of her vagina just 24-hours earlier, my teeth actually started to cut through my tongue. A giggle bubbled through the blood in my mouth. The kind of crazed giggle that comes when you’re not sure if you want to laugh, cry or throw punches.

I managed to smile and nod and then run out of her room, with my kicking and screaming toddler and my husband, looking slightly green after the graphic and completely uninvited retelling of her mucus plug coming away and the chafing of her nipples.

I’m telling you this story to highlight the difference between that sort of mum and me. She’s one of those blissful #blessed mothers that beat you over the head with their flawlessness and muffin recipes. Then there’s me. Not blissful, not #blessed. Just a normal person. A person plus a baby.

To be clear, I love my child. I love him with a ferocity that would scatter doves and make small deer scamper into the darker bits of the forest. Motherhood didn’t make me mellow and earthy. It made me wild and angry. Like a Mumma Terminator with a bionic eye scanning the crowds for anything or anyone who might hurt my baby.

But, apart from the occasional bouts of aggression, I’m still pretty much myself – with a whole lot more on my plate. It’s hectic, it’s hard and it’s often really, really fun. But I’ll NEVER pretend life is perfect, that motherhood is all my dreams come true, or that raising a small human is oh-so-naturale and instinctual. That’s bullshit and anyone who tells you differently is lying.

So what’s The Thud? It’s the thud of daily life. It’s coming back down to earth with a thud. Mostly, it’s my little boy, Thud. The thud of my heart.

This is me. Reporting from the frontline of parenthood. It’s a dangerous, volatile place. I have no idea what I’m doing, so I hope you didn’t come here expect parenting advice (but if you have any – particularly around getting your child to eat anything other than pasta, please let me know). This is simply a catalogue of what I’m learning and how I’m failing at motherhood. Feel free to laugh with me. Or at me…

 

My name is Lauren Dubois. I’m a former political journalist and mum to ‘Thud’ (no that’s not his real name. I’m not that much of a wanker). I’m married to Sarge (ex-Army, current favourite parent). I love a glass of bubbly and all four-letter words.

 

EDIT: December 2015

Wait! Hold up… Hello again. Well what do you know, I did it again.

new baby Pop

how do you do, pregnancy pigmentation?

Meet Pop. My little baby girl. She’s magnificent and she’s made life…. well, actually life’s a bit fucked right now, but I have high hopes for the future. A future that involves at least four hours sleep a night and five minutes during the day where I’m not being touched by somebody. Any day now… right?

babysleeping2

Can you even handle the cuteness? Give me all the newborns.

Thanks for stopping by. I hope you’ll stick around. Even though I say fuck now and then. I’m working on it.

love

Lauren, Sarge, Thud and Pop

xxxx

 

My work has been published at:

essentialbaby

kidspot

I won the Kidspot Voices of 2015 competition to be named Australia’s best blogger.

voices2015

AND I have a podcast called The MotherHood

motherHoodpodcast

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4 comments

Mark May 13, 2024 - 6:38 pm

You’re an antisemite and should be ashamed in yourself

Reply
Ilana December 17, 2023 - 1:17 pm

Dear Lauren,
As a mother who raised 6 children and know that all there is in life is true love, I question on the latest instagram you wrote about Frank Lowey who I knew personally from when I was a small little child before he managed to succeed and become the wonderful man we all know. Being divisive through manipulation and trying to single him because he is rich, because he is Jewish or because he supports Israel is not someone who has found the true meaning of love. Why don’t you follow the money donated to the universities in the US, to Hamas and other terrorist organisations. Leaders of Hamas and the PA are worth billions, and not theory hard work. Get your knowledge right and read up off the international treaties of the 1920s You may be surprised to learn something. And why do t countries like Qatar pour money into Western societies and terror groups, yet don’t accept to take Palestinians and give them citizenship . You are digging the graves of your children for future generations. Take note!!!

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My Top 6 Favorite Mom-Blogs that inspire my parenthood ~ Not So Perfect Parenting September 29, 2020 - 1:23 pm

[…] You can learn more about Lauren here […]

Reply
Nicole McLachlan September 16, 2014 - 8:03 pm

Hi Lauren, I think we’ve crossed comment paths over at Clever Cookie, but I’ve finally found time to sneak over and look at The Thud. Love The Thud! We have a Canberra background in common – although mine was on the staffer side. I married a former journo/press sec so your pics above definitely spoke to me :). Anyway, just wanted to say hi, and hope to catch up with you at Clever Cookie. Nxx

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