Tag:

PND

Because becoming a parent is not like the movies

written by Lauren

If you’ve ever been to the movies, you will have learned that when you have a baby, you will scream very loudly (because screaming = funny), you might sweat a tiny bit (not enough to ruin your makeup of course) and after a few minutes a nurse will place a very clean, neatly wrapped four-month old child on your chest.

You will instantly lose your sweaty sheen, your hair will look perfect, you will forget all the pain and you will immediately fall in love with your flawless looking child as all the medical staff disappear off screen…..

It can be a bit of a shock when you discover it doesn’t happen like that at all in real life.

postnatal perinatal depression and anxiety

I went into labour with a full face of makeup and perfect hair. It didn’t last very long…. (no you don’t need to see the after shot)

Yes there will be screaming but it won’t be even a little bit humorous. You might sweat but it’s far more likely you’ll turn beetroot red from all the straining and pushing and it’s possible your partner will mention at some point in the future that your pushing face isn’t your prettiest. It will probably take more than a few minutes. It could possibly take hours and you might end up in tears because it won’t bloody END.

November 17, 2015

When ex-politicians attack mothers

written by Lauren

It’s so fun when a sad, bored man wades into the sea of mummy blogs and starts splashing around.

When that sad, bored man is ex-Labor leader and Australia’s most perfect father, Mark Latham, it’s like all my birthdays come at once.

Thank you Mark Latham for all the joy and laughter you bring to the party. Your insight and keen analysis of what’s wrong with today’s mums is so refreshing and helpful.

When Mark… wait, we should probably call him “Superdad” because that’s what he calls himself…..when Superdad shared his opinions about lazy, inner-city mums relying on antidepressants to get through the day, it was eye-opening.

December 10, 2014

We need to admit that becoming a mum is tough

written by Lauren

Do you remember the first few weeks of being a parent?

Do you remember what you were thinking? How you were feeling?

Were you overwhelmed with love the second you saw your baby? Or did you look at that screaming, squashed-up, purple face and think, “Holy shit, this is SO IRREVERSIBLE.”

Or is it all a blur because Mother Nature, that tricky bitch, makes us go a bit soft in the head so we forget the horror and go back for child number two? Honestly, if we were fully lucid during the child-bearing years, civilisation would’ve died out. But, somehow, we survive on exactly zero sleep, we look permanently horrendous, we deal with oceans of poo and survive years of heinous, epic tantrums… and we love it.