If you’ve ever been to the movies, you will have learned that when you have a baby, you will scream very loudly (because screaming = funny), you might sweat a tiny bit (not enough to ruin your makeup of course) and after a few minutes a nurse will place a very clean, neatly wrapped four-month old child on your chest.
You will instantly lose your sweaty sheen, your hair will look perfect, you will forget all the pain and you will immediately fall in love with your flawless looking child as all the medical staff disappear off screen…..
It can be a bit of a shock when you discover it doesn’t happen like that at all in real life.Yes there will be screaming but it won’t be even a little bit humorous. You might sweat but it’s far more likely you’ll turn beetroot red from all the straining and pushing and it’s possible your partner will mention at some point in the future that your pushing face isn’t your prettiest. It will probably take more than a few minutes. It could possibly take hours and you might end up in tears because it won’t bloody END.