I understand it has been a while since you’ve been a toddler, but it honestly baffles me how obtuse you can be. Let me explain this is the simplest terms: throwing food off the table, roughly translated, means “I don’t want this shit.”
It’s really that easy.
Your insistence on giving me food you know I won’t eat is not only wasteful, it’s poor management. You’ve been given a position of responsibility and you are spending stupid amounts of time on projects that are destined to fail. Stop flogging a dead horse with broccoli and start serving the hot chips you know I want.
Little Thud, 15 months, Canberra
9 comments
Thanks for writing such a good post bro you keep up the great work!
I love this post Lauren, and your whole blog! I agree with Marney above that my dog was very useful during the tiring stage of hub throwing food! Good luck. My two at 3 and 4 still make a mess!!
We are fighting the exact same battle at this house as well.
I. Feel. Your. Pain.
Do you have a dog? I find that our family canine can be quite useful in these circumstances. Except when yoghurt is involved. That’s just messy.
No dog Shannon. Just a moody cat who refuses to engage with the child who has replaced her in the pecking order. Even if it means scoring fish fingers that have been tossed on the floor. Stubborn little thing doesn’t realise what she’s missing!
Oh Lauren, I absolutely adore your blog already!! And you’re only two posts in. Love your writing! Looking forward to more.
P.S. Writing that comment made me feel really self-congratulatory even though I know I’m writing about another Lauren!!
Small people are like volatile dictators, all smiles as long as you are getting them exactly what they want, which is generally the exact opposite of what you’ve lovingly prepared. On a similar note, dried weetbix could be used as a construction material
Kate, my husband keeps trying to feed my son dry weetbix with jam. Seriously. It’s like gyprock in your mouth. With jam.
LOL Totally – Violet threw a piece of lettuce at my face recently. Not by accident, she aimed and everything. I looked at her in shock, and she looked at me like “Yeah, plenty more where that came from”.
Marney, I can’t clean the floor until every missile from his tray is confiscated. Otherwise it’s like target practice, “let’s throw everything at mum’s head while she wipes my crap off the floor”. Fun times!