When I hear about parents dying, my first thought is always the children. My heart aches for them, knowing they’ll go to bed at night crying for their mum or dad and struggling to understand why they’re not there to comfort them.
I am terrified of leaving my baby behind. I don’t know why it haunts me so much but from the day I became a mother I’ve been panicked at the thought of dying. It’s truly one of my greatest fears.
It’s not the end of my life that worries me; it’s the beginning of his life without me. Grieving for a parent is something no child should have to do. It physically hurts my heart to imagine my son would ever have to come to terms with the news that mummy is never coming home.
Sometimes I write him little notes or record video messages so he has something to remember me by. Just in case. Like this one…