I’m not a lucky person. I’ve never really won anything in my life. I didn’t go to one of those schools that gave awards out for turning up to things. I went to one of those hard knock institutions that made you actually achieve something before they acknowledged you. I think I scored a few academic awards, but getting a book with your name printed in the front is lame compared to bagging an awesome trophy for being the top girl at hockey. I don’t have a trophy shelf.
UNTIL NOW!
I’ve just been named The Voice of 2015. No, not the singing competition. You are not about to download my debut single. Sad for you.
The Voices of 2015 competition recognises Australia’s top writing/ creative/ blogging talent as voted by a panel of experts from Kidspot Magazine. Try as I might to be modest about this, I’m just too excited and honoured to downplay it. It’s AWESOME!
The unfortunate part of this whole experience was the actual awards night. I won two awards and was required to give two acceptance speeches. I had nothing prepared because I had zero confidence I’d win anything and I’m also a bit superstitious so didn’t want to jinx myself. As a result I was the most ungainly and ineloquent award winner in the history of award winners. It’s no small victory the award wasn’t snatched back from me on the spot.So this is what I’ve learnt about giving a good acceptance speech.
Don’t be pregnant.
- Because you won’t look like this:
- Because you will be able to get up on to the stage. I stood at the bottom of the stairs like a moron, knowing I would fall like a baby elephant if I attempted to get up there unassisted. Thank god a lovely gentleman came running from the crowd to escort me up. Like at the Oscars. I’m basically Jennifer Lawrence.
- Because you probably won’t ramble like a moron. I’m not sure what I said. I think I made a joke about giving birth or something. I know for a fact that I looked at my trophy and asked – in the pregnantest moment of my life – “Wow, can I keep this?” Something in my head made me think it was like The Ashes or The Melbourne Cup and I’d need to give it back after touring it through my hometown. Give me a break. I was just excited to have a trophy.
Because it’s better to toss out a great speech than stand up in front of a room full of really intelligent people and flap your gums like an imbecile. See previous trophy example.
Thank some people
Anyone will do. Just make it sound like you’re grateful to someone rather than act like you’re a huge success all on your own. I think I may have remembered to thank Kidspot. I’m not sure if I mentioned the sponsors Ford and Garnier. I really should have thanked all the other awesome bloggers who make this online community such a rockstar place to be.
Don’t accost the other people on stage.
Repeatedly hugging the presenters because you’re so excited isn’t cute. It’s just weird. Especially when you’re actually just assaulting them with your huge belly. Sorry to Kim and Kylie.
Do something really cool because you might never get the chance again.Like take a selfie on stage with the crowd behind you. How awesome would that have been? And symbolic. Because they were ‘behind me’. Like, ‘supportive’. Get it? #symbolism
If I could do it all over again I might have said some nice and/or clever things, like:To be in a room with some of the best and most creative writers in Australia and to have you all cheering for me is completely surreal.
(very real possibility of a Sally Fields moment here…“You like me! You really like me!”)
The online community has always been so supportive and nurturing. I’ve been a journalist and writer for years but only started my blog about 12 months ago so it has been a massive opportunity to be part of The Voices competition. The recognition and exposure it has given me and my blog has been amazing.
To be considered up there with some of the most talented bloggers I know is mind-blowing. You’re all so talented in so many areas. All I know how to do is write and I love that my funny little stories about my life as a first-time mum (and my many failures along the way) have made so many people nod and laugh and feel less alone as they stumble through parenthood.
Winning this competition has given me the confidence to keep doing that and keep connecting with other parents out there.
A huge thank you to the team at Kidspot who have all been so supportive along the way. A big thanks to Ford Australia and Garnier as well for giving their support to Aussie bloggers.
As I said, I’m not usually a lucky person, but this year for some reason, I’ve been a bit…. Dare I say it? #blessed
39 comments
HOW DID I EVEN MISS THIS!!!!?!?!?!!!
I was googling some crap and then I see us…OMG
What a fun night. What a blur of Endone and Pain, but also so lovely to see you. You actually nailed it. I love that you were so excited and shocked and it shows the type of person you are. AWESOME!
Sorry of my VERY late message.
A well-deserved win! I discovered your blog this year and it shot straight to my “must read” list with me sending links frequently to friends saying “THIS”. Look forward to many more entertaining reads!
Thanks so much Beth! That’s so lovely to hear. Hope to see you here lots xxx
Straight to the pool room with those bad boys. Congrats lady, I’m sure you were great on stage, even if the memory is repressed! x
Memory is farked Dr Sash. I’ll just have to tell myself it was wonderful. I have no idea!
Congratulations Lauren, well deserved and I’m sure you nailed the speeches like a star. x
Thanks Vicki! It wasn’t excellent but I’m pretty sure everyone else had had a few drinks, so I don’t think the audience was too picky 😉
What nice trophies to start that trophy shelf! Maybe duck out to Ikea and grab yourself a glass cabinet. You will probably be needing it!
I feel they’ll be my first and last, but I’m ok with that!
Hahaha that’s awesome that you thought you did badly Lauren – you were AMAZEBALLS! You were like some kind of minty green perfect bellied mirage and I loved your speeches. Go you! It was a pleasure to meet you ever so briefly and I look forward to seeing you with bubba in tow next year #breastfeedingspeeches 😉 Amber. xxx
Oh yes! #breastfeedingspeeches for the win! So lovely to meet you Amber xxx
I thought you aced it Lauren. The speech advice we give to the business women’s awards finalists is to tell their story in 2-3 mins, thank people but don’t go on and on with thank yous and most important… be authentic which you totally nailed! Xx
I could have used that advice Shannon! I don’t think I told my story and I’m not sure how many people I thanked. At least I was authentic… Authentically shocked!
Congratulations!!! I was playing along at home and loved seeing my favourite bloggers all frocked up for the event and thought you rocked that green dress. So happy for you that you didn’t have a Jennifer Lawrence moment! Hope Thud likes his new trophy toys 🙂
Oh God, he’s already tried to steal them and almost dropped it on his foot. I’ve now put them up on the top shelf so he can’t get to them!
Congrats on your wins! Both well deserved. I thought your original speeches were lovely and I really loved your dress. 🙂 Lovely to meet you face-to-face!
That bloody dress almost didn’t cope with the strain I was putting it under! It wasn’t actually a maternity dress. Just a dress that was a bit big and stretchy. I think I’ve ruined it now. Oh well!!
So so lovely to meet you too Christine xxxx
Wow. Good on your Lauren. I was so happy to hear you had won. So deserved. Sounds like you were appropriately awesome on stage as well. Such a cute post. x
That’s so sweet of you to say Zanni! xxx
Your speech was glorious, you looked absolutely fabulous and your hair was spectacular! I was so happy to be able to share such a great night with you – what a fantabulous first year of blogging you’ve had. Here’s to many more bloggy years with awards to match!
It honestly made it so much more special having you and the girls there. I was just saying the other day that the best part of the night was having my friends there to cheer for me. Made me feel so special xxx
Well deserved Lauren. I think you looked radiant and gorgeous.
Thank you darling Michelle. I felt a bit jazzed up!
Totally deserved. I still remember reading your blog all those months ago thinking where has this chick been? Why am I just hearing about her. She’s awesome and so funny. Well done again!
Oh thank you Jess, that’s so adorable of you to say xxx
Congrats! What a spectacular 12 months of blogging you’ve had x
Thank you so much Kirsten. It has been bigger and better than expected. Hopefully I don’t fall flat on my face next year!
I’m sure you said something great when you were up there!! And you looked gorgeous. I definitely did not look quite so together at that stage of my pregnancy!!
Big congratulations again! Very, very deserved.
Oh Loz, you looked gorgeous. I’m feeling like a massive frump.
For the record you look amazing your belly is just gorgeous and you do not look like a baby elephant!
Congratulations on your award you deserve it!
Thanks so much Cathy! Trust me, I look like a baby elephant when I’m walking.
Naaaaw…. I loved your original speeches anyway, but your revised version does have a certain elegance and grace to it. LOL. Congrats again on a very well-deserved win. I hope those trophies went straight to the pool room x
They’re actually still sitting on the kitchen bench next to the fruit bowl. I suppose I should probably put them somewhere…
Not lucky, totes derving! You looked amazing even with the little food dribbles on your bump ;). Love your work Lauren!! xx
Oh Jesus, that’s how I knew it was time to go… When I smeared icing all over my boob. I’m all class.
Congrats! Well deserved!! And judging from the photos, you looked BEAUTIFUL.
I look much better in still life Kez. In motion I was quite the frump. I’m at the waddling, lumbering stage.
Congratulations. Well done ?
Thank you Gary! xxx