I’ve heard a brand new mum say the following three sentences, in quick succession, without the slightest hint of irony:
“I never knew a love like this existed.”
“I feel like I was born to be a mother.”
“I feel like I might burst with happiness.”
I started to look under her hospital bed for booze.
When she started to tell me how “wonderful” she felt after pushing a sizeable infant out of her vagina just 24-hours earlier, my teeth actually started to cut through my tongue. A giggle bubbled through the blood in my mouth. The kind of crazed giggle that comes when you’re not sure if you want to laugh, cry or throw punches.