….. is a very likely headline in my future. I’m just letting you know now. I hope you’ll defend me when online forums start tearing me to shreds.
Maybe you’ll say, “No, I know her. She’s an ANGEL. She must’ve really been pushed to the edge.”
Although, I have to admit, those who really know me would probably say, “Yep. Saw that coming.”
All I ask is that my journo friends use one of the following photos when reporting on The Beating Incident. I think I look nice in these ones.
Please don’t use these ones.
Cheers for that xxx
So, I should explain….
I’ve never been shy. I’m particularly comfortable with sharing my grievances.
And I have been AGGRIEVED my friends… because two little punks made fun of my baby.
We were in one of those indoor play centres and he was standing in one of those car climbing things, happily spinning the wheel and bouncing up and down.
Two older boys were jumping on the bonnet of the car. Too close and too rough for my liking, so I stepped a little closer. I told myself to calm down and let the kids play (I frequently have to tell myself to calm down).
Thud stared at the pair with absolute rapture. OLDER BOYS! Playing NEAR him! He was so excited to be close to the action.
He grinned and hopped even faster, trying to get their attention. He pointed at the huge lights hanging from the ceiling, trying anything to engage the boys in conversation. I smiled at his little way of saying “wanna be best friends?”
“Ooo ooo!” he said, but the boys ignored him.
“Ooo ooo!!!” he shouted even louder, hopping and pointing and grinning like a lunatic.
The two boys stopped thumping the bonnet of the car and looked at each other, laughing.
“Ooo oo!” they repeated, pointing at him.
“Ooo ooo ooo ooo!” They started making monkey sounds, scratching their armpits and hopping from foot to foot.
Thud squealed with laughter. He was beyond thrilled that the boys were talking to him.
My brain? SNAP. SNAAAAAAP.
His happiness hurt my heart. He thought they were playing with him. But they weren’t playing. They were being little shits and I couldn’t bear it.
“Ok!” I spat at them.
“Enough jumping thanks. He’s using the car right now. Back up please.” I barked.
The boys froze mid-air and slid off the bonnet with the stony faces of children who’ve just been chastised by a strange grown-up.
“I’m four!” one of the boys declared, like it was important to the conversation. He stuck his defiant little chin out. I think I was supposed to be impressed with his big boy-ness.
I lost some of my puff. He was four. His accomplice was about 3. They were just being kids.
I scanned the adults sitting at the tables around the play area. I could see who these boys belonged to. A couple of mums were sitting having coffee and gossiping loudly. Not one flying fuck was being given about their children who were currently in a stand-off with a grown woman.
I turned back to Master Four.
“What’s your name?” I asked him.
“Brycie.”
And like that, my anger evaporated. Unless his parents are complete morons, I’m going to assume his name is Bryce. But they call him Brycie. Because he’s little. And I guess people who love him find him cute.
“And what’s your name?” I asked his friend.
He held up five fingers.
Riiiiggghht. Not a Mensa candidate then.
“His name is Jayden and he’s 3 and a half,” said Brycie. Based on the mums sitting nearby, I’m going to take a stab in the dark and suggest his name is actually spelled Jaydyn. Or Jhaiden.
Brycie then launched into a description of what slides they’d just been on and how high he’d climbed up the ladder.
I pretended to listen for a little longer before telling Brycie and Jcheydun to take it easy on the equipment and to be careful around the littler kids so no one gets hurt.
I scooped up Thud and walked away to the sounds of Brycie protesting how big he is and how he doesn’t need to be careful anymore because he can climb really high. Jzeidin was picking his ear and staring into space. Probably working on his theory of quantum mechanics in teleportation.
I learnt three things that day.
- My baby is going to be picked on. Brycie and Gjiaeddyin weren’t really picking on Thud, they were just being kids. But kids are ARSEHOLES. Sooner or later a bully will turn on my baby.
- It’s going to hurt me as much as it’ll hurt him. I wasn’t expecting that. I knew I’d be angry, but I didn’t anticipate the ache in my heart that came from the mere possibility of his feelings being hurt. I can’t handle the thought of his little face when someone makes him feel bad about himself.
- I may need a lawyer one day. I have disturbingly clear visions of myself in a knock-down scrag fight with another mother whose child has behaved atrociously. It’s going to happen. It’s just a matter of when.
Has your child been picked on or bullied? How did you react?
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16 comments
This is hilarious! Lauren I love your blog, you write like my sister and I talk to eachother. I may have pissed a little reading this one, you’re a great mum. Cheers x
[…] a life of saying to people “No, it’s Catherine with an X” or “That’s Jayden with an H” or “It’s Tiffany with three […]
Haaa haaa! Thanks for the laugh! I can totally imagine you there in a stand off. Yep you are going have to start buying Costco size jars of chill pills 🙂
Babe. Been there done that. Play park kids are arseholes. Nuff said. X
When my eldest boy, now 21, was about 6, he and my younger son (then 4) were playing with next door’s kids in their house. A little while later, my eldest came home, upset, complaining that another boy wouldn’t let him play. I saw red, marched round there, hammered on the door, and when the offending boy answered (he was about 8) shouted at him that he was a “twisted, evil little shit!” Needless to say I had his mother knocking on my door a few days later. Even now they’re grown up, I’ll defend them just the same.
Ha! Oh Lisa you’re terrifying!!! Hahahaha xxxx
You have made my day!!! I have just spent the last couple of hours PMSL!! ( in between making cupcakes for preschool fundraiser and being a (pregnant 4th time round) mum to 3 girls)!!! I LOVE your humorous writing and honest view of parenting!! So refreshing in a world where only ‘super-mum’ parenting is allowed! Way too much pressure on us mums these days so you can imagine my pleasure as I started to read each and every word on this blog!!!! Keep it coming!!!
Yay! If anyone deserves to have a good laugh it’s a pregnant, baking, mum of three and a half. Hope to see you back here again soon xx
It’s a long story. And yes. It hurts. I promise to bail you out. I will push the paparazzi out of the way while trying to drag you to the car as we leave court. I will hide your face with my jacket.
I love you. You’re the Mercedes to my Schapelle xxx
I reacted the same way as you – and still would. We always try to protect our kids from everything but also teach them how to handle situations – even if it hurts. You were right in how you handled the little boys – hopefully their mothers will teach them tolerance and compassion as they get older. Loved your spelling of the name too
Love your note to your journo friends. I’d go ahead and consider that advice ignored!
I used to yell at the opposition for my little brothers football team when they would pick on him or hurt him, and he’s only 18 month younger than me! I shudder to think how crazy I’ll get when it’s my own child.
Oh fuck me. I could’ve written this word for word. Only replace darling little Thud with Miss DP. And the two boys were a bit older (I’d say 5 and 7) and they were purposely calling her over to play with them and then they’d take the toys from the playroom away from her, or she’d come over and they’d walk off and leave her alone. ON PURPOSE!! Pre-meditation is surely grounds for smackdown, right?! Poor darling had no clue what was going on (she was 2 at the time) and she was just overjoyed every.single.time they called her over. My heart was broken into tiny pieces all over that playroom floor. Hence why I am DREADING her starting school next year. Letting her out in the world where bullies reign? No fucking way. Homeschooling ftw.
I think that’s what hurt the most – that he was so happy. He didn’t realise they were being mean.
They’re just so innocent and sweet when they’re little. They always see the best in everyone. I think the heartbreaking part is knowing they’ll lose that trust and will eventually realise some people don’t like them.
OMG HOW am I going to let that happen!!?!?! SMOTHER ALERT! SMOTHER ALERT!!
SO excited to have stumbled on your blog!
I love the way you parent – much like the way I do!
The weirdest part is when your son grows up and is the “bully” at the play centre and you somehow justify it and blame the little kids (at least that’s what I did)
Lana!!! I am SO excited you found me! I’ve missed you xxx
And, I’ll have to admit… a couple of weeks ago at daycare pickup I was told he was pushing kids over. Eek! I frantically told them he must have been too enthusiastic with his hugs….