I’m so chuffed to be the guest host of this week’s Weekend Rewind alongside three of Australia’s most loved and most gorgeous bloggers. Thank you Bron, Sonia and Kelly for having me xxxx
So what’s been on my mind this week? Mum-rage. The overwhelming outrage pouring from mothers across the country.
I’m adding this to the List of Things Lauren is Learning as a Parent No. 398: Mums love to be OUTRAGED. Parents spend an awful lot of time feeling insulted, offended and affronted. Social media is a constant source of momentous, insidious, self-important RAGE for parents. Jesus, Mary and Joseph we love to get ourselves worked up. About EVERYTHING.
This week, mums were MORTIFIED and INSULTED because a supermodel went running in a bikini. And she looked amazing. Oh, and she was pushing a pram because she’s a mum, which means we should all be offended because she’s a mother with a hot bod which is just rubbing it in the faces of all those mums without hot bods. Because mothers should always look a bit crap just to make everyone else feel good about themselves.
The photo was posted on Bugaboo’s Facebook page with the caption: Wow, doesn’t model and mother of 2-year old Lymee, Ymre Stiekema look amazing in this @nlvogue shoot!
Some of the comments that followed included:
“What a joke. How is this realistic or good for women? Bugaboo shame on you this is insulting to new mothers.”
“What an exhibitionist this woman is! Put some clothes on!!”
“Shame on you bugaboo. Why post this photo for? This may be real for the one mother but it’s not reality for most. You’re not doing yourself or mothers any favours. Probably just increasing the depression and anxiety count.”
My comment when I saw the photo?
“If I looked like that in a bikini I’d be in it all day long. I’d jog in it. I’d do the groceries in it. I’d post pictures of myself looking flawless in it and revel in the outrage over how beautiful I look.
“So she looks amazing. So what? Am I supposed to hate her because I don’t look like that? It’s not her fault I eat cake and sit on my arse all day.”
Yes, a supermodel has a good body. BLOW ME DOWN AND CALL ME SHORTY. I would never have seen this one coming.
But it’s marketing I hear you whine. They’re Sending. A. Message. About FAT MUMS. Pressure to be skinny two days after giving birth etc etc etc.
Or maybe it’s just a fashion shoot in Vogue magazine? Home of the completely unattainable face and figure. Place where models are dressed in a whisper and airbrushed to boot. We are not supposed to look like that. Don’t take it so personally.
You could choose not to be agog, aghast and aggrieved at every image that pops up in your Facebook feed and just move right along. You could decide that it’s not all a personal attack and ignore anything you don’t particularly like. Not everything is designed to upset you.
There was some more outrage over on Em Rusciano’s Facebook page when she posted this photo of a kid’s dinner made by Em’s friend Amy.
Most of the 500 comments were something along the lines of “your friend has too much time on her hands” or “‘aint nobody got time for that”
Some were worse:
“You make your own monsters out of your children”
“This kind of mother makes me sick”
“I hate this woman that you speak of Em Rusciano, and I don’t even know her.”
“Sorry but your friend needs a swift punch in the face with your pink boxing gloves”
A SWIFT PUNCH IN THE FACE. For making dinner for her kids.
What is wrong with this world when a mum, being extra attentive to her children, becomes the subject of ridicule and threats?
THIS IS NOT AN ATTACK ON YOUR MOTHERING. It’s simply a mum feeding her children. As we all do. She popped some peas in a cup and cross hatched the chips and now she’s a villain hellbent on shaming regular mums?
Holy shit sticks on toast there’s better things to be outraged about.
Let’s calm it down with the outrage over every little thing. Ok? It’s really unattractive.
Outrage is the supreme privilege of people living a fortunate life. Only people living in safety and comfort, with no concern for how hard some people live, can be so bloody outraged about kids’ dinners and good looking supermodels.
How about we save our outrage for genuinely outrageous stuff? Like child abuse. Childhood poverty. Animal cruelty. Stuff that matters and needs some outrage for change to happen.
It takes a lot for me to be outraged. Unless something is directed at me personally or affects my life, I tend to let it slide. I watch the news and read the papers so I know what else is going on in the world and how much better I have it than the vast majority of people. So yeah, I’m not going to lose my mind because a supermodel looks like a supermodel or because another mother is better at making dinner than I am. Plus, I’m just too tired.
Ask yourself this, next time you feel the outrage rising:
1. Does it affect me directly?
2. Will it still upset me in two months time?
3. Will my outrage change ANYTHING?
My guess is you can answer no to all three questions, nearly every single time.
Do you get outraged easily or do you tend to laugh at the crazy anger that boils up over silly things? Should I get more outraged now and then?
So this is where the link up starts: Add your post below and hop around to some of the other links and say hello to the ace bloggers that participate. You’ll find some new gems!
Bron (Maxabella Loves), Sonia (Life Love and Hiccups) and Kelly (A Life Less Frantic) host the party every Friday night, starting at 8pm and closing on Sunday at midnight. You can add your link anywhere and it will show up on all four blogs.
57 comments
Maybe those people have less to do with their own lives. Or maybe, they are just too expressive of their opinions. Either way, I think it’s best not to participate on those discussions as it will only create contention.
[…] Thud’s observations about the uproar last week about the indignity of an advertising company showing a woman running and pushing a stroller (note […]
I just could not even deal with the whole ‘swift punch in the face thing’. Especially as I know Amy and she is simply one of the loveliest people to walk this earth. I think I said it on Facebook – Australia needed to give itself a good slap this week. After having a long, hard look in the mirror
congrats on hosting the rewind this week! I agree, FB can definitely be a frenzy-breeding ground for outrage. It’s so easy to incite hatred on the internet. At first glance I thought the supermodel thing was a bit off or some sort of joke but then I remembered she was a model so it’s her job to look like that. Which would totally suck if you ask me, how can she ever just chill at the café and scoff banana bread like the rest of us regular mums?? Poor woman.
Oh My God, you did not just write with complete sense did you? How dare you, I am outraged! 😉
They’re tossers, who gives a flying f%$# what a model in an advert wears? Get over it.
I have to laugh at something that many, many people get up in arms about on the local Facebook Noticeboards here – dogs roaming the streets. The horror!! Did they not live in the days when there were neighbourhood dogs that wandered from house to house and street to street? Now they see a dog out of a yard and *PANIC* *PANIC* *PANIC* they take a photo and upload to FB saying this dog is OUT. It is ROAMING up Green Street. I have it in my yard. Come and get it in half an hour or I’m CALLING THE POUND.
Sheesh. Let it back out again and it’ll probably go home by itself after having a treat at Mr Smith’s.
If it is aggressive – absolutely, call the authorities, but otherwise?
Is this just me?
I love a good outrage…over stuff that matters. A model dressed like a model modelling stuff is not my particular cup of outrage. Racism, sexism, human rights abuses, animal cruelty, people ignoring science and spreading dangerous misinformation, people attacking others for no good reason, domestic violence, bullying, discrimination… Some people need a reality check.
That’s the problem when you join in to the conversation late, everyone else has said all the good stuff! I too, am outraged by the outrage. I find myself scrolling through horrible comments, working myself up about who the hell these people are that feel so strongly about stupid stuff and how nobody can do anything or have an opinion about anything without the world weighing in on it. As for the supermodel, I too, had chaffing concerns, but then I remembered that she’s a supermodel, so she probably doesn’t sweat. And she certainly doesn’t have any excess flesh on her inner thighs to rub together. Phew, eh? Great to see you on here and hope the morning sickness is on the wane.
I felt a bit grumpy looking at this (why – my youngest is 7, I’m not even using a stroller!) and then, as I read it again, shoving some m&ms in my mouth, I realised her baby is actually a toddler. Pretty reasonable for a model to be back in shape well before that age, and nice in a way that, if that’s how she actually does exercise, she’s involving her son.
I think the rage could be because often mothers (and probably fathers) feel out of control. This parenting thing doesn’t always run smoothly. But we are trying not to take out out tiredness, frustration that we got through the things we wanted to, spent as much time with the kids, etc, on the kids themselves. So we write and bag others instead.
I’m trying not to, because I add guilt (so small minded am I?), to my grumpiness, then I get more angry waiting and reading the responses − it builds on itself. Save it instead for the more important issues (and yes, this week has been full of them).
I think we should all get punching bags to take our frustration out on instead (then we might fit in a bit of exercise in the process)!
My first thought when I saw the supermodel was “holy crap she’s hot”, followed by a visualization of self out jogging in same outfit, followed by laugh/loud snort, finishing up with a chocolate biscuit.
Me too Robyn! I had a moment of thinking I should probably get up and move my body, but then I got distracted. By cake.
Congrats on being part of the Weekend Rewind team – you’re the hostess with the mostest! It’s so weird, I was just talking about this with my friend yesterday. I just don’t get all this rage. If you don’t want to look at the supermodel running with a pram and for some weird reason it offends, there’s no need to get angry, you just need to scroll past and looking at something more interesting or less offensive instead. There’s enough rage in the world about things that really matter, without getting our knickers in a knot over a mum with a pram. Hey ragers, don’t get angry, get a life! It kind of makes me want to go back to the hippy days, “make love, not war.” Bring on the good vibes!
Yes Sammie! Make love not war! Make cake not hate!
Great post Lauren. Here are the thoughts that went through my head when I saw the photos, wow she looks good I really should go for a run again one day, then got distracted by something else and then oh that’s a good idea to put the peas in a cup maybe that would stop them being dropped all over the floor & then got distracted by wiping squished peas off the floor. These are not things that evoke outrage in me so I don’t understand why others feel the need to use up energy in being so nasty. You make a great host x
It’s hard to understand what presses some people’s buttons. I totally don’t get the fury.
My only issue with the bikini running gear is ‘is that actually appropriate attire?” Will she be going straight home to change (totally fine) or stopping in at the coffee shop (err, no thanks put some clothes on)? In the same way I think it when men in the city don’t have their shirts on (you’re in the city!!), or people eating on the beach in Bali (it’s still a restaurant – put your shirt on, I’m trying to eat!!). Otherwise, good for her, not for me!
Now I missed the dinner fiasco, so I’m not sure what she did wrong???Putting carrots in a crisscross? Or mashing peas? I have worked out with most things on the internet, just scroll on past…and usually with clickbait, it’s not worth clicking the link.
I just realised it’s telling about my body image that my issue with the running gear is will it affect the enjoyment of my eating experience….;)
Bahahahah! Love it Lydia!
I did wonder if she was cold, but that’s because I’m in Canberra and living in ugg boots.
I’m clapping, yes, yes and yes and like others have said, this incessant trolling and bitching is beyond ridiculous. Well done for such a thoughtful post x
Thank you lovely! So beyond ridiculous. Like we don’t have more important things to get riled up over?
You talk a whole lotta good sense Ms. thud! We need to save our outrage for the big stuff. I am way too phlegmatic to be outraged by supermodel mums and cute dinners, myself. Some might say “lazy”.Nice meet the co-host of weekend rewind (Bron is my fave, so if she says you’re worth a read, I listen) x
So nice to meet you too Simone! Sounds like you’re my kind of woman xx
Hurrah! Standing freaking ovation!!!
Thanks Bec! Glad to hear you’re on the same page 😉
Ain’t it crazy what some people say? If anyone writes stuff like that on my page I just hit delete, no time for silly comments.
Good luck to that fit mum, I bet she works hard for that body, I choose wine bummer that! And the dinner was actually just a simple meal she put in a few containers to make look pretty. I might do it myself.
Congrats on co hosting with the girls. Have a great weekend. Lovely to find you.
Yep, I’m a fan of the delete button Sarah. I just don’t like to encourage hate and negativity. Especially if it’s directed at someone else. I won’t allow people to attack others on my page. No bloody way.
And thank you for stopping by! xx
I’m waaaay too lazy for outrage. At least over trivial things at any rate. I laughed at the bugaboo ad, it was funny! Mums can be so angry over such minuscule shit. It gives me the shits!
I get the shits too Liv. All I can think is “go and spend your time doing something productive and positive for Christ’s sake!”
I’m with you Lauren. I just don’t give a fig. My Mum has accused me at times of being so laid back I’m lying down on the job. But in all fairness, that super hot Mum pushing a pram I can’t afford, you know what? You go girl! And Amy Zempilas who is an extremely gorgeous hard working Mum of 2 girls & manages to prepare inspiring meals for her kids, props to you! What I give a fig about is horrible stuff like child abusers who continually get light justice, racial abusers & wedded bliss for everyone regardless of their gender. Otherwise, peace out peeps xx
High five Shan, I think we’re the same. I’ve been accused of not getting irate enough at times but I just can’t force myself to get upset about stupid stuff that doesn’t concern me. I’ve had some seriously outrageous stuff happen in my life so it puts things in perspective. A hot chick and a cute dinner just don’t make the grade for me.
Actual violence and injustice deserves my time and fury.
I’ve thought a bit about this because I find it intriguing (totally unrelatable but intriguing) and I’m not sure that it’s even outrage. I think it’s indignation. I think we (they?) somehow perceive unfair treatment in these posts and pictures and that’s what gets backs up. How dare someone post an image of a model in a bikini looking slim and fit and running with a pram when we can’t all look like that? How dare someone post an image of an interesting kids dinner that they’ve obviously put time and thought and effort into when I don’t feel that I have the time and energy to do that too ( and it maybe feeds into my own insecurities). That’s how it strikes me but I may be overthinking it – especially for a Friday night ?
Great co-hosting Lauren. You’re a natural! x
Maybe Ellen! I just think it’s people getting upset because they think this stuff shines a light on their own inadequacies and they feel personally insulted. Because, you know, everything is about them…
Oh I love this sooo much! Why can’t we all just calm the fug down? You are so right… what’s the point of taking it all so personally? I thought your comment on the feed was brilliant.
Congratulations on co-hosting the Weekend Rewind. Now that’s something to get worked up about, in the nicest possible warmest and fuzziest way. 😉 Xx
Naaw, thanks Sandra!
And absolutely, CALM THE FUG DOWN EVERYONE!
I get outraged at the excessive outrage. Aint nobody got time for that shit. Live and let live we are all doing the best we can whiteknuckling it lol. I for one would freaking love my hubby to serve me up a plate of food like that and if I had that woman’s body.. I would say stuff the bikini, I’m going skyclad jogging. Thanks for joining in with us this week gorgeous girl xx
To be honest I get a bit outraged at the outrage too Son. It makes me want to scream GET A LIIIFE!
And thank you for having me darling xxx
I’m outraged at the ridiculous outrage over every flippin thing! Some women are genetically blessed. I’m not one of them. I can live with it! The plate of food served up to Em Rusciano’s friends child is very similar to how I used to serve up food to my kids when they were little. What the heck is wrong with that? Geesh – there seems to be something new in my FB stream every day that people are outraged over. On another topic – Congrats on being guest hostess with the mostest of Weekend Rewind! You blitzed it but no surprises there! 😉 x
Oh thanks so much Min! And I’m totally with you. I’m exhausted by all the things I’m supposed to be outraged over. What next?
Great post. I save my outrage for DV and racism. I have been full of all the outrage this week.
Enjoy hosting the Rewind! Great to see your gorgeous face. x
Oh yes Em, that’s something we need to pay actual attention to. That deserves our disgust and outrage.
This is what happens when doctors stop prescribing Valium to surburban mums en masse.
No more Bex!
Ba ha ha! Yes. Bring back valium. I feel a hash tag coming on.
I feel like I’ve missed out on an important experience in life because I’ve never had a valium… I often feel like I need one…
Oh it all just makes me laugh! Is anyone actually outraged?? Or is it more a mob mentality – SHE’S outraged so I need to be even MORE outraged to demonstrate that I’m an even BETTER mother/woman/feminist/whatever. WHATEVER!! Shut the f*ck up internet and show me some more videos of baby goats!
Nice to see you hosting this one lovey 🙂
Also, when I saw that pic of the model running in her bikini all I could think was OUCH – CHAFFING!! But I’m pretty sure she doesnt experience that particular problem 😉
You could be on to something. Maybe it’s also a bit of FOMO. Like they’re thinking, wait, everyone else is outraged, am I supposed to be outraged too? Oh yes, turns out I am!
Outrage is our currency, right? 😛 I think outrage masks a lot of things for a lot of people. Guilt, insecurities, vulnerabilities. But let’s just throw some good ol’ fashion outrage on it to deflect. I could add in some Oedipal complex and get a bit Freudy too soz.
How exciting to be linking up with the Weekend Rewind! Go you! x
You’re right Sash, when people get themselves all riled up over stupid shit, it says a lot more about them and their own issues than it does about whatever it is they’re losing their mind over. Mostly I think it shows they are unhappy with something in their life and want to take it out on other people. It’s sad and ridiculous. And so freaking time consuming.
THANK YOU! Do you know what I am a little ‘outraged’ about…all this hate and nastiness over such trivial issues. I commented too, and it was that the picture inspired me to get up and go for a run. I also think add the question “would I say it to their face”, because I bet 99.9% of people who commented such awful remarks wouldn’t.
x
Oh it definitely goes hand in hand with trolling Krissy. People get all fired up and then spew some hate and what is it all for? Just to contribute to a bit of a witch hunt that achieves nothing but to upset people. If only people could use all that fire and energy to create actual change where it’s needed.
Oh the blessed outrage is just outrageous isn’t it? If it’s not mums getting upset that another mum doesn’t apparently look like a mum (whatever a mum supposedly looks like), it’s the food police ripping into a teaspoon of sugar or the religious set contaminating the concept of marriage. It’s exhausting. Sometimes I feel like there’s something wrong with me because I can’t muster up the required levels of anger to participate in online discussions. Do I outrage people because I can’t muster up the energy to get outraged?
So good to have you guest hosting, lovely Lauren. x
Me too Bron! I just can’t do it. There’s just TOO MUCH STUFF that I’m supposed to be outraged over, but in reality, I’m just too busy to give most things a second thought. Plus, I have a life.
Thank you SO much for asking me. It’s such an honour xxxx
The outrage is exhausting! Every day there seems to be 10 new things we’re supposed to be outraged about as wives, mothers, women, feminists, workers, human beings, people who have a degree/job/mortgage blah blah blah.
I’m over outrage. I think some blogs and websites feed off the outrage and breed more outrage and it’s just all too much. Like you say, just scroll on by if it’s not for you. No need to have an outraged opinion about everything. Who has the time?
(And if I looked like that mum in a bikini, I would totally wear it always. She looks good!!)
It totally is exhausting Loz. I can’t even keep track of everything I’m supposed to be outraged over. The list is never ending.
Going along the Mummy lines but where do these people find the time for all this hatred! Seriously. Have a wine ladies. Time to calm the farm and stick to your own backyard.
Congrats on rolling with the Weekend Rewind ladies. x
SERIOUSLY Karin. I have no time for that shit! If something bothers me, I might feel it for approximately 0.2 seconds before something more important pops up and I’m off to deal with that. I’m all for keeping to my own backyard!