There is no worse driver on the road than a mother with a small child in the car. I’m sorry, but it’s true. If you’re looking for the driver who’s paying the least attention to the road, you’ll find her behind the wheel of the car with the ‘Baby on Board’ sign swinging in the back window.
As proficient as you might have been before children, it all goes out the window when you’ve got a human distraction screaming at you from the back seat.
After much scientific research*, I’ve put together this pie chart to show how the average mother’s time is spent when driving with a toddler in the car:
It’s what makes me think the Ford Kuga was designed with mothers in mind. This robot car will tell you when someone’s in your blind spot, it’ll tell you when you’re veering out of your lane and it’ll even park itself for you.
Rather than spend the next 2000 words trying to paint a picture of what it’s really like to drive around with a small person in the back seat, I spent a couple of days filming it. Just to give you a taste of how fun it really is…**

Much safer when pulled over to watch roos on the side of the road
Is it like this for you too? Worse?
* Obviously this is all very tongue in cheek and you should always pay attention to the road, even when you have a child screaming their head off in the back. Safely pulling over to the side of the road is recommended if things are really getting out of control.
** Please also note, this video was mainly filmed on deserted suburban streets in my neighbourhood and this was the only frantic few minutes I could pull from a lot of very uneventful driving. The bulk of the footage was incredibly boring. And safe.
This post is part of the #FordThinking Sponsor Challenge for Kidspot. Ford Australia has kindly given me a brand new Ford Kuga Titanium to test drive for six weeks and I’m loving it!
9 comments
Good one Lauren :)! I related to finding their water bottle, stretching the shit out of our arms to give it to them, then they don’t want it. Nice. Also, why do they always insist taking their shoes off??!! Noooooo!! We are getting out again in 2 minutes…KEEP THEM ON!!!!
I have no idea how you handled the car parking itself. I would have jumped out and let it do it!! Freaky!
The shoes! Yes, mine does that too every stinking trip! Why?!?
Lol. I think you captured the essence of driving with a toddler. I wonder sometimes how my shoulder hasn’t dislocated with some of the moved pulled.
That is THE BEST because it’s every car trip I have just with an added child and extra arm reach to get to the one behind me!! My husband can’t understand why I’m so frazzled when I get home from picking them up after my “super relaxing day off without them” (don’t get me started on that!). I’m making him watch this so he can see!
I LAUGHED so hard watching this. I love the “water!?, “water”?, and the quick turn around aimlessly dislocating your shoulder to hydrate your child. Who is most likely more hydrated than any busy mother…… I’m constantly hearing “Quacker”, “Quacker?!”, QUacker!!!!!”, reaching into my abyss of a bag for that elusive QUACKER, to then find half of it on the floor, when the hornet ends! Ah!!!! Everything you said I do! But now with a 9 week old on board I’m also looking to see what’s going on in my baby mirror!
Ohhh, the backseat retrieval, the no-look bottle pass . . . this is all so true. Love the bonus Boom Shake The Room too.
BAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHA! This is magnificent! We have just edged past the annoying toddler stage here and thank fuck for that. I need that park assist in my life, by the way. I can’t reverse park for shit.
Oh god, the back seat grope. It’s just another of those nifty skills we parents develop, is it not? Contortionists have nothing on our ability to stretch an arm to the far flung corners of the back seat to retrieve a flung teddy bear, while still somehow maintaining vision of the road. Or reaching back to wipe a snotty nose by feel alone… ahh, good times. After all that, we deserve to have the car park itself for us, I reckon. (Or rather, I wish!) PS. Does your hair seriously really look that good just going about your daily business? Tell me you got it done specially…
I love this Lauren, brings back memories. That car is pretty fancy too!