The worst part of the first trimester is that you’re not supposed to tell anyone. So you suffer in silence and everyone just assumes you’ve morphed into a chubby, moody, greasy, acne-ridden bitch squad for no good reason.
All you have is the bloke who knocked you up in the first place and that’s a recipe for marital bliss right there.
I didn’t want you to miss out on the horror joy of my first 12 weeks, so I’ve been keeping a diary to keep you up to date.
You’re welcome.
WEEKS ONE TO THREE
Yeah, nothing, you know, conception and stuff. GROSS. Look away!
WEEK FOUR
PREGNANT. Blood test confirms it. Enter panic mode. I’m not an excited or positive pregnant person. I’m a panic-until-that-baby-comes-out person. Because I’m a RAY OF SUNSHINE.
WEEK FIVE
Don’t feel pregnant at all. Panic mode intensifies. Obviously results were wrong.
WEEK SIX
Mother’s Day and, how do you do, morning sickness? Nice to see you again. I’m lying, you’re an arsehole.
I pull up to my Aunty’s house for a big family lunch and worry I’ll step out of the car and throw up on the driveway. My sister hands me her baby and the sickness goes away instantly. Clearly a magical child and I shall not put her down all day long.
WEEK SEVEN
I can’t stop eating. I’m eating EVERYTHING in sight. I don’t remember being this ravenous first time around.
I’m going to bed with snacks. I wake up for my 3am wee and get back into bed with a banana or an apple or a handful of biscuits. Because I’m STARVING.
It’s not unusual for me to skip lunch when I’m busy. I’ll have something to nibble on but I won’t eat a proper meal. No more. It’s full-on cooked lunches right now and I get so excited to eat, I go all fidgety. Particularly tinned salmon. Can’t stop eating salmon.
I have a dating scan and am pretty happy to see a little heartbeat fluttering away in there.
One of the girls from my mothers group sends me a message:
“You’re posting a lot of newborn stuff at the moment. Just saying”
I can’t help myself….
“That’s probably because I’m 7 weeks pregnant and have babies on the brain”
She writes back, “Holy fuckballs, I’m 10 weeks!”
Woohoo!! I love having a pregnancy buddy.
WEEK EIGHT
Vomit vomit vomit.
Mother Nature is being a TOTAL MOTHER. I had morning sickness for the whole nine months with Thud and I sort of assumed I’d be given a free pass the second time around. No.
I understand the purpose of morning sickness for the first child. It’s supposed to make us more picky with our food so we don’t eat rancid sabre-tooth tiger etc. but surely for your second child, you need to not be vomiting while caring for a toddler. It seems cruel.
Especially when you’re standing at the kitchen sink, throwing up your breakfast with a small person stabbing your thigh with a fork singing “Mummy! Mummy! Mummy! Mummy!” like you’re wilfully ignoring their request to be picked up and ferried about the house like the fucking crown prince.
Just so you know, Mother Nature, I’m WRITING THIS DOWN. So don’t try your baby-brain shit when this little one pops out, because I WILL REMEMBER.
I tell everyone on my facebook page I’m feeling sick. Everyone assumes I have a cold, bless their hearts. Before I had Thud, if I EVER said I felt sick, everyone would say “ooooh….. are you pregnant!?” like they’d cracked the code. Now they just assume I have a cold.
I don’t write one thing all week long. Feel like shite.
WEEK NINE
I’m an over inflated beach ball. Not because I’m huge (although my more judgemental friends would probably notice I’m porkier than usual) but because I literally feel full of air. Or gas if you want to be accurate.
At some point in Man School, they teach men to tell pregnant women they’re beautiful. It’s sweet, but when you’re flat on the couch, burping, farting and moaning because of all the gas and your husband tells you you’re beautiful, it feels somewhat contrived. Not that it should ever stop, mind you.
Sarge leaves for a 5 day work trip, leaving me and my farty beach ball alone with the Thud child. I’m a gassy, vomiting, ravenous nugget of air with a child who couldn’t give a shit and still needs to be fed, clothed and entertained.
Have I mentioned the nappies? My nose is sensitive at the best of times. This is just torture. WHERE IS MY HUSBAND???
WEEK TEN
All the emotions. We’re on a drive to Sydney when I mention to Sarge how much I wish I’d brought the donuts that were in the pantry. He tells me he brought them and I burst into tears. I’m just SO. fucking. grateful.
We tell the family I’m pregnant at Thud’s birthday party. Yes, I totally trump his party, but it’s not often we have them all together. The first thing out of my father-in-law’s mouth is “Make this one a girl, ok?”
Um sure, let me get to work on choosing the gender of my ten week old fetus…. it’s just that easy. (For the record, I think it’s a blue one again.)
WEEK ELEVEN
The Sarge is away for work again which means I’m AAALLLL alone. I hate life. This couldn’t be any worse. Could it? Don’t tell me it could or I might set fire to something.
I know I’m a whinger, but this is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I have a toddler to wrangle, a small business to run, a blog to maintain, a part-time job to turn up for and I have to do it all while trying not to throw up on people. And I’m getting no help from ANYONE.
I keep telling random people I’m pregnant. I’m sick of this suffering in silence shit.
WEEK TWELVE
Have my 12 week scan and it all looks great. I’m apparently five days more pregnant than we thought. Huh? Maybe that explains why I’m so fat already.
Yes, I’m officially huge. My abs have packed up and gone on smoko with the council workers down the road. They’ve unionised and they’re not willing to work under these conditions. My mother asks if I’m sure it’s not twins.
Let’s not mention the belly button. It seems to have detached itself sometime during the last pregnancy and has, unbeknownst to me, been floating, unrestrained this whole time. And now, with the gentlest of encouragement, it’s standing out and proud, wild and free, uncontrolled and unrefined. It’s disturbing.
A friend helpfully suggested it could be herniated. So now I’m thinking about that… Ta xx
The only solace is that while I look fat, my belly is firm. The fat roll is up under my boobs because the pregnant bit won’t fold in half.
S.E.X on legs.
I’m also about as bright as a house brick. I used the wrong ‘here’ in a sentence and when I was berating myself in a message to a friend, I used the wrong ‘to’. If you know me, you know that’s unforgivable and unprecedented. I’m still not over it. I can say they were typos but that’s no excuse. Obviously my eyes can’t see errors anymore.
THANK YOU HORMONES. How lovely of you to stop by. Thanks for the lemon meringue tart. I’ll see you out now. Oh no? You’re staying for 6 more months? Well, fuck.
BONUS WEEK THIRTEEN
Time to announce! Thud’s thrilled.
Do you remember your first trimester? Please tell me your horror stories. It will make me feel better.
56 comments
I have several friends at this exact stage so I’ll share this with them, because misery loves company and all that 🙂 Plus it’s hilarious and everyone should read it!
Both my pregnancies had awful MS that only gave way to searing heartburn much later on. Fecking awful. Pregnancy was NOT glam around here!
You know, I see your pregnancy diary becoming a book! You describe it perfectly Lauren. I’m hoping Thud had come around to the idea now and your morning sickness has died down. It’s amazing how much we forget and do it all again. Although during second child intense labour pains I do recall growling in a very deep scary voice “I wont, be doing, this….AGAIN!” Lol!
So happy for you Loz! And GREAT idea to write all this down because you DO totally forget and sign up for it ALL AGAIN! I love how you think you are huge. I did too…. but then I remember THAT YOU GET SO MUCH BIGGER and right now you are looking divine. At every stage, the bump is perfectly shaped. Even the fat arse that might come along too… its ok. It goes again! Do enjoy the eat. Especially since you scored a dose of bulimia. Remember to chew everything up tiny. It hurts less when it comes back!
You’re supa and so many people reading this would no doubt love to have that fluttering heart beating in their belly. I love your baby already! So special. xo
Congratulations, Lauren! Such brilliant news! The morning sickness? Not so much. Hopefully it won’t last as long as it did with Thud. I had cravings for Weetbix in my first trimester (I hate Weetbix). I’d eat 5 I one hit then promptly vomit :-/
Congratulations!! Ah, yes, the second pregnancy doesn’t allow for quite as much indulgence as the first, not when you’ve got number one to keep running after. And the first trimester is ROUGH. I call it the ugly trimester. Because during those first twelve weeks, I’m ugly and there’s nothing I can do about it. Good luck with the rest of this preg, I hope you get some time to yourself to quietly enjoy this pregnancy. It is such a magic time, I’d do it all again if I thought we could survive having five small children to look after but i honestly don’t know if we could! Hope the sickness eases up!
This reminds me of the pregnancy version of Adrian Mole’s Diary only the pregnancy and a funnier version. I love how you’re keeping it real, baby! I thought there was a lot of talk of newborns and babies so I wasn’t totes surprised when you made the announcement but I was seriously excited. I know you might feel like shite, but you totes don’t look it, you could be the new pregnancy poster girl, you look that good! I must say there are quite a lot of Clever Cookie Babies on their way, perhaps I should keep my legs crossed? Hope you feel lots better, lots soon!
Congratulations Lauren. I may have thought you were pregnant after not seeing as many posts. It’s Phoebe’s 1st Birthday today and I remember the spewing, farting, spewing, exhaustion – everything and I had two whipper snappers at my feet. It’s worth it in the end but gosh, the third time around after being so close to my second was hard going. You get through though. My worst moment in the first trimester was throwing up in a toilet I hadn’t connected up yet. That was a fun one to explain and clean up!!!
Congratulations! bet you feel great to be able to share the news now! Hopefully morning sickness is over now ! x
You are one of the prettiest pregnant ladies I’ve ever seen Lauren. I was sick for the first 15 weeks during each of my five pregnancies. My girl came last and there’s an old wiive’s tale that carrying a girl robs you of your beauty. I didn’t have a lot of beauty to start with but I did notice when I was pregnant with her my skin became greasy and sensitive and my hair lank and horrible. It didn’t happen with the boys. Congratulations! It’s very exciting!
Big congratulations! Wishing you a speedy end to morning sickness because it’s a horrible beast of a thing. Also, having had three girls, I hope you don’t get too many comments about needing to produce a baby of a particular gender because I know how totally annoying and insulting it can be. Take care x
PS. How about Rebus the Fetus? OR there’s always Jesus….?
Every great first trimester blog post should end in fuck, Lauren!
This really was an incredible reminder of what lies ahead in my future (if I decide to lie with my husband ever again). HA! I too was sick the entire 9 months of Cletus the Fetus. I had to take that medication that made it so I couldn’t poop more than once a week, and when I did it was an EVENT! Sometimes the constipation was worse than the nausea so I would go off my meds. And then puke and then go back on them. NOOOOO!!! You are hilarious, my friend. So funny. Loved reading this one, through and through.
LOL best pregnancy announcement ever! I imagine my daughter will be just as impressed as Thud if we ever get knocked up again.
Congratulations!! LOL – love how you write. You had me giggling all the way through. Yep – that sounds like the first 12 weeks of both my pregnancies too. I was sick as a bloody dog for both up until 16 weeks. Then things got a bit better before reflux set in. Wishing you a happy, healthy pregnancy and look forward to seeing the bun when it pops outta the oven! 🙂
Congratulations Lauren, it’s so exciting obviously not the sickness part that sucks and the gas and the disinterested toddler and the husband being away. I hope that it doesn’t last the whole pregnancy. I did get off pretty lightly through both of mine but I do remember watching a play with friends at about 9 weeks so I hadn’t told anyone and was hit with the desperate need to vomit, the actress was on stage going, round and round in circles for what seemed like forever in a slow death and I was getting in a panic as to where I could be sick, it took everything in me not to stand up and yell – “Just die”, there may or may not have been gas too. As soon as she did die I rushed out to be sick in the shopping bag I had in my handbag for that purpose – classy moment. I hope that makes you feel a little bit better. x
Vicki, the idea of you vomiting into your handbag makes me feel MILES better. Thank you xxxx
Oh dear lord. 9 weeks here. Possibly longer, since I’m so fat, but maybe it’s just triplets. (It’s actually fat I never lost after having baby #2, though I won’t admit that to myself). I was really happy that I’ve only thrown up once so far but the relentless nausea, night and day, is just as exhausting. And my god the nappies. I gag every time I open the refrigerator. Reading your account I was reminded of how tough it is to have a toddler when pregnant – they don’t understand why you can’t play with them like you used to. But Baby Three is actually a tad easier because One and Two can play with each other. Not that that will make you feel any better.
You know what really bothers me about the whole hellish first trimester (or any trimester) thing? People have no sympathy. Their attitude is that you decided to have the baby, so it’s your fault that you’re leaning over the sink every morning vomiting bright yellow bile and dealing with the exhaustion. I mean, you’re growing a placenta. That’s an actual organ. They’d have plenty of sympathy for someone dealing with a liver transplant, but growing a new organ from scratch? Pfft, stop whinging and be grateful you can fall pregnant.
I AM grateful. I’d just be a tad more grateful if I wasn’t sunk in a hormonal mess of misery and depression. Anyone who tells you having babies is the “easy” option is an idiot.
Jesus, YES Madeleine! I’m growing a whole organ. In fact, I’m growing a human being as well. FOR CHRIST’S SAKE!!
Thank you so much. I just read your comment out to my husband. Just as a reminder that it’s not just me.
And congrats to you too!!! xxx
Oh honey, I’m equal parts thrilled for you and pained that you’re having to go through all the sickness and shit. I’m that bitch that you HATE during first trimester. You know, the one that has next to no symptoms, no illness, just some queasiness on and off and an intense desire for potatoes (Irish in a previous life perhaps?). But my brain goes to shit. Hardcore. I now have no brain left third time around. It never returns. I don’t care what the science says. It has GONE. I have my fingers and toes crossed that the sickness disappears very, very soon xx
If I didn’t like you so much, I’d totally hate you Sash. It does make me feel better that you’re feeling dumb too.
I do love me some baby news, even more so now that I know I can’t be duffed again. It’s so fun. Hope you’re feeling more normal. You look lovely xx
Oh thank you Reannon. That makes me feel marginally better 😉 xxx
Ugh I feel for you with the morning sickness. As soon as I hit five weeks with my two kids I became a vomiting machine. There was no such thing as morning sickness, it was all day and bloody night sickness. I really really hope you don’t have another nine months of it. Try to stay calm too. I was a panic merchant also. Sigh. Anyway, congratulations. It is all very exciting x
Oh I know, I wish they’d call it something other than morning sickness, because honestly, who gets it just in the morning? The worst time of day for me seems to be around 4pm. That could also just be exhaustion from spending all day with a mental toddler… Thank you Renee xxx
Dear Lauren
First of all, congratulations on your news! You don’t know me, but I’ve stalking you (in a good way) for some time now, and as a mum of two myself, I know how much joy (and chaos) this news is going to add to your life.
As far as I can tell, the whole point of a blog like this is so that you can bitch and moan to your heart’s content and the rest of us can smile, nod and say “thank god I’ve already been there, done that, NEVER GOING BACK!”
I wanted to share a few thoughts about things I’ve learned along the way since my second (and definitely my last, although for some reason, four years on and nearly forty-two years old, certain mother-in-law types still like to suggest that I could go another round… seriously??? – whoops, I digress) child was born. They’re just things I wish some wonderful, beautiful, smart, multi-talented and extremely sleep-deprived (no, that never goes away) mum had told me.
1. Pregnancy, as all mothers know, is a time of fear – rational fears like “will the baby be ok”, reasonable fears like “will my baby be born in jail if I sucker punch the next person who tells me how big I already am”, and completely mad fears like “what if this baby decides it’s never coming out and I’m going to be pregnant FOREVER”.
You may also worry (as I did) about how you will bond with this new baby when you already love the one you have with every cubic millimetre of your heart – how could there be enough love left over for another?
When my second baby was born, I learned something new about love: that your heart can and will literally expand, and that same impossible amount of love you have for your first will be available for Mark II.
2. I don’t mean to freak you out, but Baby No 2 is hard… really frickin hard. It will be hard for Number 1 because suddenly Mummy isn’t physically able to always drop everything as and when he requires it (you REALLY need to start preparing him for this now), hard for Baby No 2 because you can’t always give them the undivided attention and limitless time that you had for No 1.
Most of all it will be hard for you because there will be times when you feel like you are failing both of them and you are the worst mother in the world. And you will be wrong. At those times, you just have to tell yourself, “this too will pass”.
3. A simple mathematical concept: Baby No 2 is not equal to Baby No 1. Dur. Of course you know intellectually that all babies are different, but here’s where I messed up with my No 2. First time around, I didn’t read any baby books or really do any research – not for any philosophical reasons but because it honestly never occurred to me that that was a thing.
As a result, No 1 and I pretty much just made it up as we went along – I let her tell me what she needed and we both got along pretty well. When No 2 came along, I foolishly assumed I had this baby thing down and tried to apply the same schedules, milestones etc to him. Obviously this approach was destined for epic failure, and that’s exactly what happened. Months and months (it seems ridiculous now) of battling to deal with this “defective” model, when it turned out the problem was not with him but with me.
When I finally stopped worrying about what he “should” be doing and actually listened to him… whaddayaknow? We started to get along just fine.
4. When your new baby has finally arrived and you’re battling your way through those first months of sleepless nights pacing the bedroom, wondering when that magical “sleep-through” is finally going to happen, and you wonder what the hell you were thinking… pursuant to Frozen, here is my advice: Let. It. Go.
One night very soon will be the last night that you ever hold a baby of your own in your arms at 3 am – that special time when only little babies and their mothers are awake – watching their bright little eyes gleaming at you in the darkness, smelling that wonderful baby smell that emanates from the top of their head, feeling their soft, warm little body that just wants to be held close to you.
It’s the reason I can’t go to bed at night without first resting my cheek against theirs as they sleep, and it’s the thing that will make the next twenty seven weeks all worthwhile for you. I can’t describe what I would give to have that moment just once more and know that it would be the last time.
Good luck Lauren, and warmest blessings upon your family xxx
Oh Robyn, you made me cry! I literally have tears running down my cheek.
I’m feeling exactly like you described about loving number 2. HOW? It’s not possible! And I’m also feeling guilty about taking away my Thud’s mummy. I’m all his and he’s all mine and that’s going to end really soon and it makes me feel so awful and sad. But you know what? Maybe that’s what this morning sickness is good for. He’s already learning that mummy can’t do it all and sometimes he’s going to have to make do with very little attention because mummy just can’t tear herself away from the toilet bowl right now….
I think your point about not applying the same rules to number two as you did to number one is REALLY good. I need to remember this is a whole new person with totally different needs and wants. I will remember, I promise.
And finally, OH MY GOD, I want to go and cuddle my baby right now! I know this is true and I know how wonderful it is to have those special moments and I know I will be sad when it’s over. Thank you for reminding me Robyn.
Love Lauren xxxx
You may not appreciate it now…but the brain fog is training for your years as an ‘elder’…*G*……Just check that out with your parents…and/or older rellies…..
Sick for months with 1st…while holding down a receptionist/cashier position in the local county council office…they finally moved me onto desk/switchboard when I just missed decoration a group at the counter…. :)………
Lucky with the 2nd…no full time job…just helping hubby out in his business….
My craving with 1st pregnancy….fish also…but sardines…on toast ..with tomato sauce…I could not get enough of them….
I also was a panic parent….right up until they could walk and talk…*sigh*
I’m already old and dotty Maev! I’m bloody useless!
Oh, congrats! And commiserations! The second pregnancy is so balls it’s hard to accurately describe how truly balls it is. It’s possibly harder than the third – at least by the third, you know. You KNOW that life will be a nightmare to be endured and godDAMN it, I’m never having sex again.
This post has brought back so many memories. Bad, gassy memories. Memories of nausea laced with toddler mashed banana. Memories of aches that you were sure you didn’t feel until the very last weeks of pregnancy the first time but fuck my life, I’m only 16 weeks. Also, a major case of 70s porno bush. Maybe that was just me…..
Anyhoo, good luck, You’ll be fine.
Hahaha, Angie, that’s me right now. Total disbelief that I’m only 14 and a half weeks when SURELY I’m at least 20 weeks, judging by my symptoms. How am I experiencing all of this so much earlier??
I’m mostly pissed off that people LIED to me. Friends and family told me the second pregnancy would be easier. It was a big conspiracy to get me pregnant again. It’s NOT EASIER. NOT A LITTLE BIT.
Naww, firstly, congratulations! Sooo exciting! Secondly, yep, pregnancy second time around sucks balls. No novelty factor, no sympathy from anyone, and a toddler still as demanding of your non-existent energy as ever. I distinctly recall being in a pretty foul mood for approximately the entire duration of my second pregnancy. Had it not been for Thomas the Tank Engine TV marathons it’s possible I may not have made it through.
Oh Zoe, that sucks doesn’t it… no one cares about the second pregnancy. You’re already a mum so there’s no sympathy or excitement. Just “oh yeah, that’s right, you’re pregnant aren’t you?”
I’m also a massive fan of Thomas. Thank god for TV!
BIG congratulations!!! When I read your last sick post I assumed you were pregnant and was commiserating with you on the morning sickness with a toddler because it sucks!! I vomited every single day of my second pregnancy so I feel your pain! I wish I could tell you that you get used to it but you don’t! I begged my obstetrician to induce me and because she was going on holidays it had to be 4 days before my due date and I was over the moon! The sooner the bloody better! I can however fill you with hope that everything else after the pregnancy is so much easier! Miss 2 decided to potty train herself today! That’s how awesome the second one is!
Every single day Jacinta? Oh my god that’s shocking. You poor thing. I’ve had some days that have been alright and I can feel it’s easing now. I’m nearly 15 weeks and I think it’ll linger for the whole thing again, but at least I’m not full on throwing up and struggling to move like the first few months.
But thank you for reminding me of the light at the end of the tunnel!!! xxx
Every single day until the day I had her! Triggered by cleaning my teeth! It was awesome!
Can I just say that after two years of feeling like a complete freak one of your responses above has made me feel SO much better…!!! My biggest fear with #2 was that I wouldn’t love her as much as I loved #1! I loved him with everything I had and even though I knew i was having a girl which is what I had wanted my whole life, I was so worried she would be second best! Totally irrational now I know given the moment she came out I felt everything I had the first time all over again but I never said it out loud to ANYONE for fear they would think there was something wrong with me!! I’m so glad I’m not alone feeling that way!
Holy shit why did I do that 5 times !!!!
I know you won’t like me anymore but I somehow got through 5 pregnancies without any problems and no morning sickness at all …… which then totally messes with your mind, especially with your first pregnancy coz the books say morning sickness from week 6 plus….!!!
However I did throw up from the first contraction til bubs was born with most of my babies…and don’t say you weren’t a little please to hear that ;-
Well the throwing up during labour does make me feel a tad better… but I still can’t forgive you for having no morning sickness at all for all five pregnancies. Witch woman!!! 😉
I was virtually homicidal by my third pregnancy. It sure was not as fun as I recall the first two times around being. The fatigue, i always find the killer. Of spirit and fun if nothing else. BUT congratulations! You will be so glad you ‘re putting yourself through this female only torture. You look beautiful!
Oh you’re in the stage I want to be right now Vicki. At the end and holding that awesome prize for all that hard work. I’ll think of you when it’s getting awful and remember there is an end to it! xxx
This is all very close to home. 23 weeks just now.
“Yes thank you just past halfway now….”
Watches them eyeball midriff aaaaaaand
“gosh! Are you sure there’s only one in there?!”
“Yes – quite sure thanks” (in head ‘and WHAT EXACTLY are you trying to suggest?!?!? Because I’m pregnant what’s your fucking excuse?”
It doesn’t help that I work in an Nhs clinic and my patients tend towards the old and unsubtle and my colleagues are entirely unsubtle. No one does tact in this part of Scotland it would seem.
Bahahahahahaaaaa, Oh Becca, I shouldn’t laugh. But sometimes that’s all you can do, right? My nan was Scottish and she was the most tactless woman I knew. God she was funny though 😉 xxx
Ugh, feel your pain. I had a 2.5 year old AND a 18 month toddler when pregnant with my third, still working 30 hours from home, no help, husband worked 6 days, I got so sick at one stage I just made my bed the kitchen, living room and toilet, okay we have an ensuite so that’s not as gross as it sounds. Just keep trucking! Big hugs, but so big you vomit x
Good grief Em, that’s hardcore. But it’s all worth it at the end, right?? RIGHT???
You’re hilarious. Congrats x
Thank you Kez xxx
BAHAHAHA – remember you asked for it!
Wake up one day with super sonic sense of smell, so appreciated when we live on the top floor of a unit block and the lady beneath loves to cook Indian. Vomiting commences and doesn’t stop. Like seriously. Hubby helps shower me, dresses me and gets me to the doctor. Dr who has treated me all my life thinks I have a bowel obstruction. Abdomen looks like I am 6 months pregnant. Makes me wee on a stick which comes back negative. Sends me to hospital asap. Ultrasound reveals me bowel obstruction is 5 months 5 weeks along. Everyone relaxes about the vomiting. Week 6 – still vomiting non stop. Can’t keep my own saliva down. Clean smells like deoderant or soap are making it worse. Watching TV is making it worse. This doesn’t lool like a fucking Huggies commercial. Week 7 hospitalised. All the antiemetics used. No urinary output at all. Severe hyperemesis diagnosed. Bags and bags of fluid in before any wees. But still magically complicated – joy! Lying in hospital at 8 weeks when obs tells me liver is NOT looking good. Now almost 10kgs less then when I fell pregnant. Need support to get out of bed. Naso tube discussed. Termination recommended. Charming bitch face nurse tells me how lucky I should feel to be pregnant because some people can’t get pregnant at all.
Continue this routine for the entire pregnancy till daughter is born premmie. Absolutely horrendous but rewarded with a baby who has slept through consistently since 5 weeks of age.
I feel your pain.
JESUS CHRIST ON TOAST MICHELLE. You win. Hands down. That’s HORRENDOUS. And you went back for a second? Hero woman.
I hear you! I had terrible morning sickness with both my babies! I work for emergency services and in the middle of taking a 000 emergency phone call I threw up all over my desk! So Hot!!!
That sounds fun Arial! I was a radio newsreader throughout my first pregnancy and had a LOT of near misses with vomiting on air. There was a lot of dry-heaves but no actual vomit. I always managed to hold on until I was off-air and then could make the dash for the toilet. Fun times!
Hahahhahhahah! But pregnancy is A BEAUTIFUL MIRACLE OF NATURE!!! I did the other kind of pregnancy. The sick, fat, farting, crying, puffy kind. Congrats on your impending number two and here’s hoping that you don’t get too many dick comments about making this one a vagina (they always made me want to punch people in the face). Also hope that the morning sickness gets a bit less relentless for you over time x
Luckily I have a post about this very topic that most people I know have read. It means I’ve had very few requests for pink. They’re too afraid. Obviously my father-in-law doesn’t read my blog.
Sweet Jesus that’s brought it all back to me, and my first trimester was only 6 months ago! It was hard going. And the suffering in silence sucks. Because I’d just had a miscarriage before getting pregnant I spent the entire time being totally paranoid about every cramp, every pain, every twinge, every time I felt sick/didn’t feel sick. It was mentally and physically exhausting!
I have to say, based on this pregnancy I’m not exactly in a rush to do it again. I used to think I’d want to have kids close together, but not anymore! I think at least a 2/2.5 year gap seems more likely right now. As a bare minimum.
(and I totally feel you on the pregnancy induced typos. I’ve never felt so stupid or not with it as I have for the past 8 months or so)
Also, I should add my mum (and several other people) also asked ‘are you sure it’s not twins’. Not cool, parents and friends, not cool at all.
Oh GOD. Every pregnant woman EVER gets that stupid comment. It wasn’t even funny the first millennia around…
My mother-in-law made that comment when I was like 39 weeks pregnant. Ummm, I’ve had a bazillion scans but sure, it COULD be twins. Or I’m just a fucking whale. She then went on to ask if I was STILL ABLE TO WALK. Are you fucking kidding me?
It’s funny how quickly you forget it Loz. Or at least, once you have that baby in your arms you start to see it was all worth it and that you could handle it again because it’s only for a short time and that baby is for life.
Then again, being in it, it’s hard to see the finish line. BLERGH.