I just fell down the stairs. Hard. Can you break your arse? Pretty confident my bum bone is shattered.
My foot slipped on the edge of the step and down I went. Despite the almighty crash and the searing pain in my behind, I didn’t make a squeak. All I could think was “Oh god, don’t wake up, don’t wake up.”
Because I’d just put my child down for a nap and nothing, not even a shard of arse bone piercing my glute could bring me to wake him.
Thud is what mums euphemistically call ‘not a great sleeper’ which is code for ‘my eyes burn with an exhaustion so fierce I can taste colours.’