You know how people tell you everything will feel better if you just change your attitude to GRATITUDE?
They’re absolutely right! Feeling SUPER grateful today:
I’m so #grateful my children never sleep. My body has conditioned itself to operate on less than two hours of sleep a night. I’ve basically become nocturnal. I could become a soldier of fortune, hunting people by night, fighting in the blackness, sleeping for minutes at a time… they’d never catch me.
But if they did catch me, I could withstand weeks of interrogation. Months even. I’ve been interrogated for three years straight by my son #blessed. There isn’t a question I haven’t avoided.
And if they moved on to torture, I’d be just fine. I’m #lucky enough to have learnt to cope with the aggressively irritating woowoo siren noise my son likes to make when he wants to annoy me. It’s hardened me. I’m stronger because of it. If I can withstand that, I can withstand anything.
If they moved to negotiation? Ha! I’ve been dealing with extremists for years #preciousmemories. I have negotiation skills that would put the UN to shame. I could bring together warring nations with the skills I’ve learnt at dinner time alone.
I’m so #grateful my children like to scream at the same time, while I’m trying to make dinner, as someone tries to climb my leg while I’m holding a boiling pot of water and someone else spills their drink all over the couch because I know how to escape tense situations so I can breathe for two seconds and not punch a wall.
My children have made me a weapon. I’m unstoppable.
So here’s a pic of me doing a pre-kids cartwheel in Hawaii because that’s how fucking #grateful I am today.
#soblessed #ivegotskills#theyvemademedeadly #couldbeaspy#thankskids #somanyskillsnow #soproud#gratefulforyourhelp #basicallyasuperhero