It’s so fun when a sad, bored man wades into the sea of mummy blogs and starts splashing around.
When that sad, bored man is ex-Labor leader and Australia’s most perfect father, Mark Latham, it’s like all my birthdays come at once.
Thank you Mark Latham for all the joy and laughter you bring to the party. Your insight and keen analysis of what’s wrong with today’s mums is so refreshing and helpful.
When Mark… wait, we should probably call him “Superdad” because that’s what he calls himself…..when Superdad shared his opinions about lazy, inner-city mums relying on antidepressants to get through the day, it was eye-opening.
We learnt how the mums of Sydney’s inner-city HATE their children and pop pills like complete cowards to escape the torture of their unwanted spawn. We discovered that, by comparison, the mums out in the West are DELIRIOUS with happiness and completely free of stress while they raise their darling children with the joy and dedication that is so becoming in women. Because nobody in the Western Suburbs suffers from depression. It’s a fact. And if they did, they wouldn’t be taking “the easy way out” by taking medication.
Mark Latham has been a stay-at-home father (superdad) since retiring from politics in 2005. And oh how wonderful he is at it. He potters around in his magnificent native garden by day and bakes gourmet meals by night. He prides himself on “preserving time” to love his children and dedicates himself to their studies. I bet he has THE BEST Pinterest boards.
Oh how I wish I was Superdad.
Luckily, Superdad has shared his expertise one more time.
This time, the man who might’ve been our Prime Minister (I like to call him The Bullet Australia Dodged) has taken aim at the scourge of the nation – mummy bloggers – and has given tips on how to deal with their radical left-feminist agenda.
Firstly, Superdad is très perturbed with the maniacal way these blogmonsters are raising children to believe in gender equality (FREAKS!). They’re suggesting we raise little girls to value themselves for more than their looks. Wha? Confused face…. These lunatics are suggesting we don’t comment on a little girl’s physical appearance every time we speak to them. But…. but…. what do I say to a little girl if I don’t call her a ‘pretty pretty princess’? Superdad says this means we should call all little girls “ugly”. Excellent advice SD.
SD worries that part of this left-feminist mummy blogging agenda is to encourage dads to be equally involved with their kids. What lark is this!? He warns that this means women will be shirking all responsibility and letting their children run wild and shirtless down the streets, while binge eating pizza… yeah, I can’t really follow Super D’s logic here either. But it sounds TOTALLY reasonable and incredibly alarming. Better do something about these rogue women before they take over!
Superdad, it is such a pleasure to hear your expert opinion on all matters of motherhood. You’re a stay-at-home dad who seems to love raising your children which is wonderful. So, clearly, you know exactly what it’s like for every single mother in the country.
Just like I know EXACTLY what it’s like to be a much loathed and ridiculed ex-politican because I’ve been a political journalist. Same same, right?
I’ll just let you in on one little secret Superdad – there are an awful lot of mummy bloggers. Many many more than ex-politicians turned stay-at-home-dads with an inexplicable gig as a columnist for a formerly well respected newspaper.
What I’m saying is – YOU’RE OUTNUMBERED Mr Latham. Well and truly. I’m not sure why you want to start this war, but it’s certainly a war you can’t win.
My advice to you is this… go and bake something healthy for your children. Go and pick some wattle from your garden. Sit down and help your daughter with her maths homework. Enjoy your children.
But please stop writing. It’s not your strength.
Please sign this Change.org petition to ask the Australian Financial Review to stop publishing the vile and abusive ramblings of Mark Latham. His continued attacks on female journalists, and mothers in general, are defamatory, offensive and cruel. It is incredibly disappointing to see a respected publication like the AFR sink to the level of trash media as it publishes sensational and inflammatory opinion pieces just to drive internet traffic to its site.
If you liked this, make sure you like The Thud on Facebook so you never miss a post!