It’s time to break the cycle of torture and abuse that all new parents suffer at the hands of their more experienced friends and family.
First-time mums and dads across the nation are shaking in anticipation of the onslaught they’re about to face.
Christmas is coming and it can only mean one thing. They’ll be initiated into The Parenthood with an arsenal of bright, plastic, NOISY junk.
Thud’ll be 18 months old this Christmas, and it is compulsory (apparently) to give toddlers ALL the noisy toys. ALL the noisy toys that have EVER BEEN MADE.