As you’re facing the needle they’re about to stick in your baby’s thigh, just hours after he was born, there’s a part of you that screams “STOP!”
He’s so perfect and untouched. He hasn’t even had breast milk yet. This will be the first substance to enter his body. It doesn’t seem right.
Except for one thing. The only thing.
It could save his life. Is there really anything else that needs to be said?
If you’re not convinced, I only have one question. Are you willing to bet your baby’s life that you’re more intelligent and more informed than ALL the scientists and doctors?
That’s a bet I’d never take. I mean, I’m pretty freakin’ smart (just ask me) but I will admit I’m lacking a medical degree.
I am smart enough to know what I don’t know and I’m not arrogant enough to assume I know more than the people who have dedicated years of their life to this research. So when it comes to my child’s medical care, I’m happy to outsource to the professionals because a few hours on Google has never made anyone an expert in anything, let alone saving a child’s life. And over-estimating your intelligence could have deadly consequences for your child.
The US is in the middle of the biggest outbreak of measles in 15 years. The disease was declared eradicated in 2000, but now it’s back with a vengeance because it has become quasi-trendy to be an ‘anti-vaxxer.’
Hipsters, ‘crunchy’ mums, educated parents and middle class families have been swept up in a weird movement of anti-vaccination evangelists because they believe they’ve “done the research” and can “think for themselves.”
They’re not different or special. They’re sheep, just like everyone else, but following a smaller, crazier herd led by zealots like ‘Dr’ Sherri Tenpenny. A woman who tells parents that vaccinations are poison and will give their children autism. ‘Dr’ Tenpenny is an osteopath with zero qualifications in immunology but a rapidly growing following. She was due to come out on a speaking tour to Australia next month, but a social media backlash caused her to cancel the tour. Thank Christ for that. This woman believes the Sandy Hook Massacre was caused by vaccines. Yes.
And then there’s Jenny McCarthy, a celebrity who campaigns tirelessly against vaccines which she believes gave her son autism. She’s super influential because of her Phd…. whoops, no sorry she doesn’t have any qualifications. She’s got nothing except an impressive rig and Jim Carrey for an ex.
I JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND.
I don’t understand parents that believe all of this. Educated, intelligent parents who swallow plate after plate of bonafide SHITE from these people with no expertise in the area. Parents who put real effort into finding out more information and STILL decide to ignore the overwhelming science in favour of the obscure conspiracy theories in the deep dark corners of the internet. They choose to jump on board with the morons who believe it’s better to contract a potentially deadly disease than to vaccinate against those diseases. Smart, caring parents who honestly buy into the idea that this is all a big hoax. A very well coordinated, very well funded, worldwide hoax. FOR FUCK’S SAKE.
I’m not going to go into all the facts about vaccinations BECAUSE I’M NOT A DOCTOR OR A SCIENTIST, right? So I shouldn’t be spouting information that I’m not qualified to spout.
What I can tell you is that I trust the thousands of doctors who have studied MILLIONS of children who tell me I should vaccinate my child. I trust them when they tell me that every single argument put forth by an anti-vaxxer is factually incorrect and harmful. (seriously, ALL of them. Even the “shedding” and “if your kid is vaccinated then they’re not at risk, so you shouldn’t care” arguments – they’re wrong too). I trust they know the science that tells us how to save children’s lives.
But, you know, if you hate facts you should definitely listen to an osteopath or a former playboy model about saving your child’s life and eradicating preventable diseases from the face of the earth. Because they’re right and every other scientist on the planet is wrong or trying to trick you into paying money to the big pharma companies so they can inject your child with dead baby cow foetus. You should make sure you stay totally natural and trust that your body knows how to protect you from ancient, deadly diseases.
Oh, but do you know what else is “natural”? DYING. That’s nature. Survival of the fittest. Our race isn’t supposed to have a life expectancy in the 80s. Not every child is supposed to live. The weak are supposed to be killed off so the strong survive and thrive.
Yes, vaccinations are a big FUCK YOU to nature. Vaccinations are like, “oh, you want to kill off millions of babies every year? How about you go fuck yourself Nature? How about I save all those babies. What are you going to do about it, you pussy??”
Look Nature, I know you’ve got plans. I feel you. But, my plan is to keep my child alive, m’kay? So, don’t mind me while I totally cheat and stick a needle in his arm so you can’t come and get him until he’s a cranky old man. Got it? I’m not even going to feel guilty about it. Outwitted, Outplayed, Outsmarted. Survivor bitchez.
Yes, it’s playing God. Yes, when we keep millions of children alive, who ought to be killed off by childhood diseases, it causes serious overpopulation. I’m ok with that. I reckon if we’re smart enough to cheat death, we’re smart enough to come up with a solution to overpopulation that doesn’t involve giving horrible, painful diseases to little babies.
I’m sorry if this is harsh, but the anger directed towards anti-vaxxers comes from the absolute knowledge that you are SO FUCKING WRONG. You’re like a bunch of seemingly well adjusted, loving parents who are trying to tell the world the sky is green or that cigarettes cure lung cancer. You are just so infuriatingly wrong and you are putting people’s lives at risk. You are siding with DESPICABLE HUMANS like Dr Jack Wolfson, who said last week that he would be FINE if another child died after catching something from one of his unvaccinated children. Because his children are “pure”. GAAAHHHHH!!!! A doctor. Quite ok with kids dying. Can you see how that might make someone feel a bit murdery?
I’m going to take a few moments to breathe, so I’ll leave you with some words from Roald Dahl, whose daughter died from measles when she was 7.
I don’t even know if I want to ask a question about this…. I’m too scared I’ll explode from rage…
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