Around his first birthday, my boob-loving baby looked up and realised there was another person living in our house. That person was Daddy and he was awesome. I have been the loser of our family ever since.
Much as I love cuddles when my cheeky boy is sad, scared or hurt, I wouldn’t mind some excited squeals when I walk through the front door. I mean, I brewed the kid for nine months and then pushed him out of my body in a brawl that lost me full custody of my bladder. A wee bit of gratitude wouldn’t go astray. Pun intended.
Look, I do know my child loves me. He even likes me sometimes. But there’s no doubt, I’m the firm second choice in our house. It’s hard not to take it personally when your two-year-old pushes you out of your chair, screeching “Mummy NO! Daaaddy!!” because you’re too intolerable to occupy the same airspace as him.
I’m like that stale Arrowroot biscuit living on the floor of your car. I’m there in case you’re stranded on the side of the road and starving, but I’m certainly not your first choice for a snack.
I should probably play it cool and hard to get, but I’ve decided to fight back and love-bomb this kid until he’s forced to see how fun I am and choose ME. MEEEE. Yes I’m aware of how juvenile I’m being. Yes, I’ll gladly accept all donations to my shrink fund.
Anyway… last week was my chance. My husband went away for work all week, which meant I had zero competition. This was MY TIME and I was willing to fight dirty to be the favourite parent again. The week was all about fun. We went to fun places, we played, he laughed and I was a HOOT all bloody week.
Monday
In the morning we played with toys. I usually like to sit and supervise while telling myself I’m teaching him independence and resourcefulness blah blah blah. But we all know this exercise has nothing to do with his development, and everything to do with my delicate ego, so I got down and played trains like the meaning of life was hidden up Thomas’ tailpipe.
In the afternoon we went to the National Dinosaur Museum. Because nothing says “I love you more than your father” than deciding to pack up and head out to play with dinosaurs on a whim.
Shame the huge animatronic dinosaurs scared the crap out of him and it was so cold outside we had to get back in the car after about four and a half minutes. But two-year-olds totally appreciate the effort, right?
Not right.
Not the favourite yet.
Tuesday and Wednesday
With Tuesday and Wednesday at day-care, my challenge was to win his love during witching hour. The nightly dinner skirmish, bath time battle and bedtime war. Yikes.
I used every tactic I knew. Dinner was plain pasta with not a hint of the dreaded sauce. Bath time was a free-for-all in which every lukewarm bath water splash was greeted with laughter and applause and not one “for Christ’s sake” and bedtime was drawn out and fun filled and ended with a little person being allowed to fall asleep on Mummy’s chest. Daddy might be fun, but Mummy is better at cuddles.
I can only assume I was slowly gaining favour because on both nights I heard a gleeful “MUMMY” at about 2am which ended with a 13kg toddler lying across my neck in the big bed.
Let’s just call it a win, ok? I got zero sleep, I couldn’t breathe and got kicked in the face multiple times but I was feeling like SUCH a winner. #sarcasmfont
Thursday
The sky was blue and the air was warm so, like lizards, we took to the outdoors for some sun. We went for a walk around Lake Burley Griffin to play with leaves. Because I’m about as outdoorsy as a nudist in the arctic.
What would Daddy do? Daddy would get in there and get dirty. So that’s what Mummy did and she even set up the camera to get some hard evidence of how dead set fun she is.
Most parents of small children will know there’s a fine line between being fun enough to entertain your children and being SO fun they never want to stop whatever painfully repetitive game you’ve created. I bounded across that line and we threw leaves until he got sick of it. I was a RIOT, he was all smiles and there was not one request for Daddy.
The title was in my grasp.
Friday
For our last day of mum fun we went to Cockington Green, which is a land of miniature houses and gardens.
Not going to lie, I enjoyed it more than he did. Mainly because no one was stopping me stampeding the scenes like baby Godzilla trying to kidnap all the tiny people.
We finished with the most fun part of the whole week: a surprise trip to the airport to pick up Daddy. SO. MANY. PLANES. He was SO enthralled with the planes they almost overshadowed Daddy’s arrival.
Despite it all, this stale Arrowroot was binned as soon as we got home.
I’ve got nothing on Daddy and that’s ok. We had a really fun week but I was gagging for a break at the end because, to be honest, being Daddy is exhausting.
Anyway, he’ll come around eventually. Right??
Are you the favourite? Or have you been shafted for someone else?
This post originally appeared on Kidspot as part of the Voices of 2015 competition
34 comments
[…] lunch, head north to Canberra’s cutest attraction by far, Cockington Green Gardens; a whimsical village of miniature houses, castles, landmarks and cities that kids will […]
[…] lunch, head north to Canberra’s cutest attraction by far, Cockington Green Gardens; a whimsical village of miniature houses, castles, landmarks and cities that kids will […]
[…] arrives home a bit early. Toddler behaves as if you’ve been beating them all day and daddy is here to rescue […]
Nice try, Lauren. You have worked hard to become your child’s favourite. I don’t have a child yet, but if that happens to me, I will do the same thing you did. Haha! Sometimes, we can’t help it but to compete because as mothers, we establish the fact that we should be our children’s favourite.
They do change. I am the favorite if they want something pricey. But to be honest I think I will always be my eldests favorite I’ve been there in zero degrees at his races and probably supported his sport more so than his Dad who is busy earning the $$. I adore that kid, he is amazingly special and doesn’t realise it yet. I adore the second too, I’m not enjoying the 10 year old as much (crucify me one thing I am is honest) Dad is probably more so favorite for my middle as he really encourages his guitar playing and singing, I love it and think he’s real talented but haven’t pushed it. The youngest definately Dad is favorite right now. I can’t give him the attention at the minute and they both love food so much they use it to manage anything really and it shows, lol.
I feel your pain, our three year old is the biggest Daddy’s boy around (not helped by the fact he is also a dead ringer for his Dad) and unfortunately his little brother has started to turn into one now too 🙁
This made me properly laugh out loud. Gold. I get a bit of “NO MUM!” from time to time. At the moment. we’re dealing with “No Grandma!” which isn’t a popular theme.
I feel you. I spend 24/7 with my gal. I feed her, bathe her, get up to her in the middle of the night…but Daddy rocks up after work and plays with her for a couple of hours and if I dare to join in she’s all ‘Nooooo go AWAY Mummy’. It’s cool, I don’t feel rejected or insecure at all…. *sniff*
I’m getting pushed around too! I’ve had to start designing clothes to get some more love!!! Then I get the love and we laugh and laugh and my pelvic floor goes and I think to myself…. Ok, go to daddy now;) ahahahahah
You put on a good show Lauren but it’s possible you were just trying too hard 😉 x
Too hard. Not hard enough. Who knows.
Yeah, my boy discovered Dad, and I haven’t won since!
Although he does tell me he loves me, so I take that as a win. 🙂
I’ve been trying to teach him ‘I love you’ for ages Jess. If he says it to his father first, I’ll die a little bit inside.
You’ll probably appreciate the Daddy-favouritism when baby #2 arrives. My eldest was still in the mummy-mummy phase when #2 arrived and it caused some serious jealousy issues! Fortunately he was at tipping point so we gently pushed him over into the ‘Yay, Daddy is awesome!’ development phase fairly quickly.
You’re SO right Bec! That’s the spirit! I will totally appreciate it in a few months. Then I won’t feel so guilty about abandoning him for number two. Yay for silver linings!
I figured that by having a second baby I would increase my chances of being some child’s favourite at some point of the day. Extreme measure, I know.
I’m taking the same route Shannon. I’m crossing fingers it pays off.
This is so hilarious, I think we have all been there. You put in all the effort and get zero reward, I feel for you. But be careful what you wish for, they seem to flip a hidden switch and one day it will be all ‘mummy mummy mummy’ and no daddy will cut it and you will be begging for a break. Looks like you had some great adventures though. #TeamIBOT
I’d be totally happy for a 50/50 split Malinda. I just want a little bit of the love and attention, doesn’t have to be all the time!
I feel your pain. I’m definitely not the favourite parent. Never have been even when my daughter was a baby. AND she looks nothing like me! She’s definitely from her dad’s side of the family (spitting image of her dad’s sister, in both looks and personality!). Here’s hoping the little boy I’m currently cooking is going to be a mummy’s boy cause I couldn’t bear being the least favourite parent again!
I’m pinning all my hopes on the number 2 child too Michelle. Good luck!
Hahaha. You are always good for a giggle.
I am the favourite in this house. Daddy has to step up his game! 😉
How good does it feel to be the favourite Kez! I had it for a year and it was awesome. And then it just stopped and I’ve been searching for that high ever since….
Laughing. So. Hard. Because in my house, Ant is you. No matter how awesome he is (and he is awesome) – mummy can do no wrong and is number 1, 2 and 3. Poor guy!! But as I said to you on FB – the kids look 100% like him and nothing like me. Not one tiny bit. So there’s his revenge. If they didn’t come out of me, question would probably have been asked by now
I would totally exchange the spitting image factor for a bit of love and attention Kelly. Tell Ant I know how he feels. No matter what you do, it’s just not quite good enough.
I’m not the favourite parent either, and what’s worse, he prefers to call me “dad” not “mum”. Slap in the face everytime!
Ouch! That’s tough Emma. At least I get the right name. Usually followed by a NO.
Awww, a valuable ant effort! 🙂 I’m the favourite here with the little one but the big ones know me as she who dishes out chores, so Dad wins there 😉
Valuable ant??? Valiant! Damn phone 😀
Oh yep, I’m great for the laundry and the dinner, but I’m no good at the fun stuff, despite me telling him how fun I am.
I don’t have kids but my niece was the opposite, so maybe it’s a gender thing. She loved her dad but when she was a baby ADORED her mum, me and my mum (her grandma). She’d always run to us before her dad for comfort.
I have a friend with a little boy and his father’s not in the picture, and when he was little (1+ to 2) he’d walk up to men in cafes and places like that and be all over them. He was really drawn to men.
(She’s been seeing someone now so he’s very different.)
Sometimes that’s it Deborah. I think my boy is just a boy’s boy. He loves being around other boys and men. Women are just a bit boring to him.
All I know is that the best feeling in the world is coming back after a trip away and having a toddler at the airport run up to you, grab your leg and squeeze with all her might and scream “Daddy I’ve missed you”.
Hi Gary!! That does sound awesome. I wish I could get a bit of that. Nothing beats that excitement.