There is no worse driver on the road than a mother with a small child in the car. I’m sorry, but it’s true. If you’re looking for the driver who’s paying the least attention to the road, you’ll find her behind the wheel of the car with the ‘Baby on Board’ sign swinging in the back window. […]
Around his first birthday, my boob-loving baby looked up and realised there was another person living in our house. That person was Daddy and he was awesome. I have been the loser of our family ever since. Much as I love cuddles when my cheeky boy is sad, scared or hurt, I wouldn’t mind some […]
Sarge has been away for work quite a bit lately and I’ve been sick, which sucks because THUD. Luckily he’s two now which means he’s pretty helpful when I need him to be. By helpful I mean he can fetch things for me…. If I bribe him. Of course, that depends on what he deems to be ‘helping’, […]
It is the great divide between the breeders and the childless in society….The witching hour(s). Blissfully unaware non-parents will spend the hours between 4pm and 7pm wrapping up a few things at work, heading home for dinner, or perhaps even heading out to meet up with friends for a jolly laugh and a beverage or four. […]
Mummy, Have you seen my knee? Sore. This feels really serious. You keep telling me I scratched my knee when I fell on the driveway but I don’t think I believe you. I think I can remember falling, but I don’t remember crying. Surely I would’ve been howling in pain from such an injury. Do you […]
I finally understand why people put those festive ‘Baby On Board’ signs in their car windows. It’s not for the certain je ne sais quois it adds to your people mover, as elegant as they are. It’s not to boast about your ability to reproduce (that’s what the “My Family” stickers are for). It is, […]
My heart has been shattered. It’s in a million pieces on the floor. My dreams have been slaughtered and I’m doomed to a half-life of pain and misery. You’ve brought me into this cruel world and your lack of remorse is a dagger to my soul. I can’t reach the bench.
I just fell down the stairs. Hard. Can you break your arse? Pretty confident my bum bone is shattered. My foot slipped on the edge of the step and down I went. Despite the almighty crash and the searing pain in my behind, I didn’t make a squeak. All I could think was “Oh god, don’t wake up, don’t […]