Mummy, Have you seen my knee? Sore. This feels really serious. You keep telling me I scratched my knee when I fell on the driveway but I don’t think I believe you. I think I can remember falling, but I don’t remember crying. Surely I would’ve been howling in pain from such an injury. Do you […]
I finally understand why people put those festive ‘Baby On Board’ signs in their car windows. It’s not for the certain je ne sais quois it adds to your people mover, as elegant as they are. It’s not to boast about your ability to reproduce (that’s what the “My Family” stickers are for). It is, […]
My heart has been shattered. It’s in a million pieces on the floor. My dreams have been slaughtered and I’m doomed to a half-life of pain and misery. You’ve brought me into this cruel world and your lack of remorse is a dagger to my soul. I can’t reach the bench.
I just fell down the stairs. Hard. Can you break your arse? Pretty confident my bum bone is shattered. My foot slipped on the edge of the step and down I went. Despite the almighty crash and the searing pain in my behind, I didn’t make a squeak. All I could think was “Oh god, don’t wake up, don’t […]
All mums really want is for someone to tell them they’re doing a good job. That they’re making the right decisions. That they’re not going to completely screw up their children. Most mums of my generation have had careers before babies. We’ve had colleagues and bosses. We’ve had constant performance reviews and feedback. We’re used […]
I was ready for it. I’d heard horror stories about the judgement and shame heaped on parents who choose to put a leash on their child. People tutting and shaking their heads. People calling mothers cruel. People barking at the kids….. Because that’s the height of sophistication. The child looks like a dog on a leash, […]