Top tips and tricks to delay and destroy bedtime,
Comrades, in our efforts to demoralise and dominate, I’d like to bring you my best tips for destroying bedtime.
This is a particularly painful one for parents because they’re so freaking precious about their ‘me-time’ and they’re desperate for you to go to sleep so they can go off and enjoy their life without you.
I don’t know about you but I find that excessively selfish and I believe it’s our duty to remind them where their priorities lie. i.e. with YOU.
When it comes to bedtime, your number one aim is to delay. Because:
A. Bed is boring. They’re having WAY too much fun without you when you go to sleep. Trust me on this.
B. It’s not your job to make their life easy.
You have a number of tools in your arsenal so let me help you use them:
1. Freshly washed cuteness.
Parents have a weird thing about clean. They like it. When you’re freshly washed and dressed, smelling like baby soap they go a bit soft. You need to maximise this as much as possible. Really draw out the cuddles and the ‘I love you’s’ because it will make them a weaker target.
Please note: The nudie run is a great option if you’d like to delay the getting dressed part. I love a good long streak in the evening.