Learning you’re going to become a parent brings a whole new world of anxiety and stress. Every decision you make seems like The Most Important one of your life.
Will you co-sleep? Will you breastfeed? Will co-sleeping and breastfeeding make your child a narcissistic sociopath? Will you cry-it-out? Will crying it out give your baby a lifelong gaming addiction?
Forget it all. None of it’s important. Your kid’ll be fine. Probably.
What chance does Number 16 Bus Shelter have in life? How does one even pronounce Abcde?
This, right here, is what will make your children hate you. Burdening them with a name they’ll spend their life spelling/ explaining/ correcting for people. It’s a lifelong blessing or curse, so take it seriously.
But but but… I can name my kid whatever I want, you whine. It’s MY choice! Yep, it sure is… and won’t affect you in the slightest. Your little Mg’winni Bear, however, will crawl through her life in shame and embarrassment before she turns 18 and changes her name to Jane.
Your child is not a pet. Your child is a human being who will suffer the consequences of your decision. Welcome to the
jungle playground, dude.
Here are some ways to help you choose a baby name that won’t make your offspring hate you for the rest of their life: