Wake up feeling refreshed because your children have both slept through the night. I mean, yours probably did. Not mine because my kids are broken. But according to the books and all the other mums online, all toddlers and preschoolers sleep through the night so you’ll probably feel like a million bucks. Just don’t talk to me about it or I will hurt you.
Turn on TV. You don’t even feel guilty anymore.
Breakfast. Your four-year-old would like a bowl of dry Rice Bubbles. You consider having the conversation about wet cereal again but honestly can’t be fucked, so you hand him the bowl and wish him dusty luck.
The 18-month-old wants what her big brother has. She wants it exactly how he has it. But no, on second thoughts that’s not nearly close enough, she needs the exact bowl he’s holding with the exact cereal he’s scooping into his mouth. She needs it NOW. She figures you’re not going to act fast enough (you never act fast enough) so she launches herself at the bowl in what will become a mega-hulk battle to the death over the green bowl.
You look at your firstborn and wonder, “did he get easier? Or did I not know what ‘difficult’ was until she came along?”