Your baby eats absolutely everything you put in front of her? You must be the most talented parent EVAAAH!
How ever did you manage that?
Oh, I see, when you started her on solids you gave her a huge variety of fresh, healthy food and never, ever made her a second meal if she didn’t like the first? Because children should learn to eat what they’re served? Hmm. I thought I could just feed babies nothing but cream cheese for months and then throw a stalk of broccoli their way and it’d be all veggies all the time…. I’m such a silly sausage. I bow down to your brilliance.
YOU ARE A MASTERMIND.
Surprise! I jest.
You are not a mastermind. You simply. Got. Lucky. You lucked out and got a child who likes food. Zero credit to you and your ‘skills’. Sorrynotsorry.
You can stop doing your self-congratulatory dance every time you read about a stupid, lazy parent who doesn’t know why their child will eat nothing but rice.
You can also give up on the comments like “Fussy eaters are the result of lazy parents who feed their kids hotdogs all day long.” (cough* fuck you Curtis Stone* cough)
I am not a lazy parent. I simply got a kid who’s not that bothered with eating.
Not even hotdogs Curtis! He’s never even eaten ice-cream BECAUSE HE WON’T TRY IT. I once pressed a spoonful of delicious, creamy vanilla ice-cream to his lips and he snapped his head back like I was trying to force-feed him Napisan.
Some kids aren’t built to devour everything in sight. Some kids just don’t care that much about food.
Other kids have serious food issues that have ZILCH to do with the aptitude of their parents and everything to do with things like Sensory Processing Disorder. Some kids can’t stand broccoli because it’s yuck, but for other kids the texture of it could literally make them vomit. No parenting technique is going to fix that.
Some kids are simply wary of anything new. It’s apparently an evolutionary trait that protected cave-kids from poisonous plants and rancid meat (so basically, my kid is smarter than yours Curtis Stone, because he’s not going to die from chowing down on deadly nightshade).
Yeah it’s true, some parents avoid the nightly battle and just cook whatever their kids will eat and of course that makes those kids pretty set in their ways.
But don’t lump us all in that category, thanks. Most of us do all the things you’re doing. We offer a variety of healthy food. We don’t give in and make second dinners. We don’t argue and yell and make dinner a battleground. We do ALL the stuff that you think you’re so clever for doing. We do it religiously, we do it no matter what. Sometimes it doesn’t work, because it’s got nothing to do with the parent, and everything to do with the child.
So climb on down from your high horse and stop rubbing salt in our wounds, because no one wants a picky eater. It’s stressful. You worry your child isn’t eating enough and that they’re going to waste away on a diet of air and toothpaste. You over analyse everything you’ve ever fed them and at what point you got it wrong…
But I didn’t get it wrong. I didn’t miss the memo about how perfect parents get their kids to eat. My child is not wasting away. He’s just not that into food. It’s who he is.
And you know what? It’s who I am too. I’m a grazer. I always have been. I don’t sit down to a massive meal, I eat little bits all day long. Turns out my child took after me. Quelle surprise.
So, no, you’re not a brilliant parent and you don’t have the secret so you can stop all the faux-concern over my sub-par parenting skills. I am fully aware of what I’m supposed to be doing. Because if there’s anyone who knows a thing or two about getting a child to eat, it’s the parent of a fussy eater. Because, you know, we’ve read everything ever written on the subject.
Not all kids work the same way. Just like some kids laugh at farts and other kids cry every time you vacuum (my kid would be the former, not that latter).
Besides, if being a brilliant parent simply means doing the bleeding fucking obvious, then wouldn’t we all be brilliant?
“Don’t feed your kids junk food”, they say…..Ground breaking stuff.
Next they’ll be telling me to watch my kid while he’s in the bath.
Do you have a picky eater? Do you believe that picky eaters are born or bred?