Crappity crap, Halloween is tomorrow and your child has nothing to wear! WTF have you been doing? You’ve known it was coming ALL YEAR.
Ok, let’s be honest, even though you knew it was coming, you’ve only decided today that maybe you should get into it this year.
It’s ok, I get it. Bandwagon etc. You want to be able to say “We totally did Halloween years ago, before all masses really got to it. Sigh, it’s becoming SO commercial, don’t you think?”
So, hop on up here amongst the hay bales (do bandwagons have bales of hay? I’ve always imagined they do) and let me give you a hand.
WARNING: This is not for the faint of heart. It’s not a cutesy kid costume. It’s an actual Halloween costume (’cause Halloween is meant to be scary, you know? Cute little bunnies and sexy nurses don’t really belong on the night of the dead).
All you’ll need is a pair of overalls, some red hairspray and a knife (please don’t give small children real knives. It’s not smart. Go for plastic or cardboard)
Yep, there’s nothing creepier than a real life Chucky doll.
Problem: Child needs to dress up as something.
Solution: Chucky – The homicidal doll from the 1988 horror film “Child’s Play”
Time needed: Depends on the age/ temperament of child. If your child is like mine, and flops around like a dying fish every time you try to dress him, this could take 40 minutes. If your child understands you are not trying to torture him by putting clothes on him, this could take 5 minutes.
Some denim overalls
A striped, long-sleeved t-shirt.
Red hairspray – I could only find pink. Not ideal, but still pretty creepy.
A lip pencil to draw disturbing scars on baby’s face.
A toy knife – this was by far the hardest thing for me to find. No one sells realistic looking carving knives anymore! What’s with that? Crossbows, machine guns, samurai swords … EVERYWHERE. But one measly plastic knife? Nup. Had to make my own. Cut out a knifey looking shape from cardboard, spray painted it black and silver…voilà! Knife! Took about 5 minutes to make versus the three hours of trudging from shop to shop looking for one. Failure.
* Special detail – serrated edge on knife made with pinking shears. Because if you’re going to give your toddler a cardboard knife, you want it to really tear through the flesh. Steak style.
$3 for the hairspray. Thud already had the overalls and the t-shirt. I made the knife out of an old piece of cardboard and painted with spray paint from the garage.
Spray hair with a bit of coloured spray (it washes out in one wash).
Draw scars on face. May need a second person to hold child still while you try to draw hideous wounds on their perfect little face.
God this is so wrong…..
Stand back and shudder as your baby runs around gleefully “stabbing” things. How the very hell did he know how to do that?
Simultaneously hilarious and horrifying.
So so adorable. But so so unnerving.
Should I also be concerned that this is the only costume Thud liked? Literally ran around giggling and stabbing, like he was born to do it.
I’m going to have nightmares about this. I had to put him in the bath immediately to wash the Chucky off him.
I think I’ll stick with this sort of costume in the future:
So, what are you dressing your kids as this Halloween? Or will you give it a miss this year?
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