Halloween is becoming a thing in Australia. In case you hadn’t noticed.
I blame Pinterest.
I blame Pinterest for a lot.
(Have you heard the theory that Pinterest was invented by some old chauvinist who wanted women to get back to baking, crafting, home decorating and mothering like they did in the 50s? If it’s true, it’s working.)
For Aussie mums, it’s hard to ignore the constant stream of orange and black in your Pinterest feed. It’s like a tiny hammer in your DIY self-conscious.
“Make the pumpkin face things, Lauren. Decorate with ghosty things, Lauren! Give out lollies to everyone, Lauren. Dress up as a slutty something Lauren!”
And… let’s not forget…. “Make something Pinterest-worthy for your child to wear while he trawls the streets for lollies from strangers, Lauren!!”
So, if you’re feeling like you’re supposed to be getting involved, but you’re kind of a lazy tight-arse…. I’ve got you covered.
Problem: Child needs to dress up as something.
Solution: Home-made spaceman jet pack
Time needed: About 30 min including drying and faffing time (faffing around trying to find screwdriver to get stupid lid off spray paint. Faffing as you try to find a great way to rest the bottles so they dry properly. Faffing with tissue paper to make awesome FLAMES.)
Coupla soft drink bottles. Depending on size of child.
My child is one of the smaller ones, so he got the 390ml bottles. Probably could have gone larger, but it worked ok. Suggest you don’t use the 3L bottles on the teeny tikes.
Silver spray paint. Could probs use regular paint, but honestly, who has time to wash up a brush? If you’ve only got half an hour to spare, get yourself the spray paint.
Some coloured tissue paper. For FLAMES
Glue. You could use any type of glue, but life is made so much better with a hot glue gun. If you have children, you need a hot glue gun. They should hand it out in hospitals alongside the green panadol ring you get in those Bounty bags. You’re going to need a hot glue gun eventually, so might as well get one now. They cost about $10 in the $2 shop (yes, I know that sentence doesn’t really work).
String. I changed my mind about the string mid-project and used some elastic instead. My child is not the type to stand still while I tie him into a fancy dress costume, so I needed something that would make the “dressing up” process much faster.
All up, this should cost you about $5. That’s for the can of spray paint ($2 at Bunnings. Bargain!) some elastic and some tissue paper. That’s assuming you have some old bottles in your recycling bin. Hopefully, if you’re a worthwhile Pinterest mum, you’ll already have a glue gun in your extra specially organised craft room. Right??
Let’s break it down:
Spray your bottles. (hot tip: this shit STINKS. Spray outside. Don’t do it on a Severe Weather Warning day like I did. Wind is not your friend). One coat’ll do it. You’re going for speed, not quality. You’ll be throwing it all in the bin on Friday night, so don’t invest too much of yourself in this.
Glue them together. I used a hot glue gun (seriously, you’ll use it for everything. You need one.) I will admit, the hot glue buckled the bottles a little bit. Again, care factor was pretty low and this isn’t a lifelong memento we’re making here.
3…. 2…..1…… BLAST OFF!
You’ll asphyxiate on the spray paint fumes.
You’ll spray yourself silver. You’ll need turps to clean up or you might have to look a bit Tin Man-ish for a while.
Baby splits rockets apart (as above) –you could add some extra staying power by taping the bottles together with some silver duct tape.
Child is enraged by your attempt to dress them up and bawls for every single second he’s wearing his awesome space man rockets until you take them off.
Not a huge success with Thud, but let’s assume some other children might appreciate the effort their parents have gone to.
If you liked this, make sure you head over to facebook and like The Thud so you’ll never miss a post!