Brought to you by Heinz Infant and Nuffnang I sat in the paediatrician’s office and played him a video clip of my baby son. He studied it as I fretted beside him. When it finished I nervously asked if there was anything wrong with my child. “Annnnd, um, what is it exactly that I should be […]
You know what’s super unenjoyable? Being told to enjoy something. It’s a bit like being told to calm down. If I’m having a brain popping rage attack and you tell me to calm down, you might as well whisper “and then set fire to my car” because the end result will be much the same. […]
Children have no boundaries. They will see you stepping into the shower and will walk straight up, stick their face in your crotch and start a conversation about what’s in there. I’m pretty sure that’s why giving birth is so gory: so you can shed that last shred of dignity you had left in preparation for […]
Kids are so fun but we all know they are secretly fucking with us. There are some universal truths in parenting and, much like Murphy’s Law, the rule of thumb is: anything that can go wrong will go wrong.
Dear darling baby of mine, It’s three in the morning and I’m not myself. To be fair, you’ve dragged me out of bed at three am, which is officially within the ugly hours of the morning; nothing good ever happens between 2 and 4 am. Sweetie, I can accept a 1.30am wakeup. At 1.30 in […]
You’re almost at the end of your pregnancy. You are aching and cranky and oh so exhausted. You’re about ready to rip that baby out with your bare hands which is nature’s way of making you less afraid of childbirth because anything would be better than this torture. You are over it and you want to know, […]
This post is sponsored by Next Gen Health and Lifestyle Clubs One of the secret silver linings of having children is using them as an excuse for not doing stuff you don’t want to do. Want to leave the party early? Sorry, the kids need to get to bed. Don’t feel like leaving the house? Kids […]
My friends, I must apologise for my absence. I’ve just been so busy with the new baby, you know? Being a big brother is tough. I mean, people don’t really tell you how hard it’s going to be, do they? It’s UNRELENTING. Mum and Dad have absolutely phoned it in to be honest. They’re all, […]