Children have no boundaries. They will see you stepping into the shower and will walk straight up, stick their face in your crotch and start a conversation about what’s in there. I’m pretty sure that’s why giving birth is so gory: so you can shed that last shred of dignity you had left in preparation for […]
Kids are so fun but we all know they are secretly fucking with us. There are some universal truths in parenting and, much like Murphy’s Law, the rule of thumb is: anything that can go wrong will go wrong.
Dear darling baby of mine, It’s three in the morning and I’m not myself. To be fair, you’ve dragged me out of bed at three am, which is officially within the ugly hours of the morning; nothing good ever happens between 2 and 4 am. Sweetie, I can accept a 1.30am wakeup. At 1.30 in […]
You’re almost at the end of your pregnancy. You are aching and cranky and oh so exhausted. You’re about ready to rip that baby out with your bare hands which is nature’s way of making you less afraid of childbirth because anything would be better than this torture. You are over it and you want to know, […]
This post is sponsored by Next Gen Health and Lifestyle Clubs One of the secret silver linings of having children is using them as an excuse for not doing stuff you don’t want to do. Want to leave the party early? Sorry, the kids need to get to bed. Don’t feel like leaving the house? Kids […]
My friends, I must apologise for my absence. I’ve just been so busy with the new baby, you know? Being a big brother is tough. I mean, people don’t really tell you how hard it’s going to be, do they? It’s UNRELENTING. Mum and Dad have absolutely phoned it in to be honest. They’re all, […]
Once upon a time you were assessed on your ability to work within a team, to problem solve and to meet client expectations. Now you’re a parent and your whole life’s worth is down to two things: your ability to make your child eat and sleep. A ‘good’ baby eats like a champ and sleeps like a… well, like […]
This is a sponsored post Remember when we all sat around in our skinniest jeans and underwire bras and judged the shit out of all the crap mums around us? We rolled our unbloodshot eyes at those lazy mums who were just letting their kids behave like animals. We knew we’d be different. Better. I mean, […]