I’m so chuffed to be the guest host of this week’s Weekend Rewind alongside three of Australia’s most loved and most gorgeous bloggers. Thank you Bron, Sonia and Kelly for having me xxxx
So what’s been on my mind this week? Mum-rage. The overwhelming outrage pouring from mothers across the country.
I’m adding this to the List of Things Lauren is Learning as a Parent No. 398: Mums love to be OUTRAGED. Parents spend an awful lot of time feeling insulted, offended and affronted. Social media is a constant source of momentous, insidious, self-important RAGE for parents. Jesus, Mary and Joseph we love to get ourselves worked up. About EVERYTHING.
This week, mums were MORTIFIED and INSULTED because a supermodel went running in a bikini. And she looked amazing. Oh, and she was pushing a pram because she’s a mum, which means we should all be offended because she’s a mother with a hot bod which is just rubbing it in the faces of all those mums without hot bods. Because mothers should always look a bit crap just to make everyone else feel good about themselves.
The photo was posted on Bugaboo’s Facebook page with the caption: Wow, doesn’t model and mother of 2-year old Lymee, Ymre Stiekema look amazing in this @nlvogue shoot!
Some of the comments that followed included:
“What a joke. How is this realistic or good for women? Bugaboo shame on you this is insulting to new mothers.”
“What an exhibitionist this woman is! Put some clothes on!!”
“Shame on you bugaboo. Why post this photo for? This may be real for the one mother but it’s not reality for most. You’re not doing yourself or mothers any favours. Probably just increasing the depression and anxiety count.”
My comment when I saw the photo?
“If I looked like that in a bikini I’d be in it all day long. I’d jog in it. I’d do the groceries in it. I’d post pictures of myself looking flawless in it and revel in the outrage over how beautiful I look.
“So she looks amazing. So what? Am I supposed to hate her because I don’t look like that? It’s not her fault I eat cake and sit on my arse all day.”
Yes, a supermodel has a good body. BLOW ME DOWN AND CALL ME SHORTY. I would never have seen this one coming.
But it’s marketing I hear you whine. They’re Sending. A. Message. About FAT MUMS. Pressure to be skinny two days after giving birth etc etc etc.
Or maybe it’s just a fashion shoot in Vogue magazine? Home of the completely unattainable face and figure. Place where models are dressed in a whisper and airbrushed to boot. We are not supposed to look like that. Don’t take it so personally.
You could choose not to be agog, aghast and aggrieved at every image that pops up in your Facebook feed and just move right along. You could decide that it’s not all a personal attack and ignore anything you don’t particularly like. Not everything is designed to upset you.
There was some more outrage over on Em Rusciano’s Facebook page when she posted this photo of a kid’s dinner made by Em’s friend Amy.
Most of the 500 comments were something along the lines of “your friend has too much time on her hands” or “‘aint nobody got time for that”
Some were worse:
“You make your own monsters out of your children”
“This kind of mother makes me sick”
“I hate this woman that you speak of Em Rusciano, and I don’t even know her.”
“Sorry but your friend needs a swift punch in the face with your pink boxing gloves”
A SWIFT PUNCH IN THE FACE. For making dinner for her kids.
What is wrong with this world when a mum, being extra attentive to her children, becomes the subject of ridicule and threats?
THIS IS NOT AN ATTACK ON YOUR MOTHERING. It’s simply a mum feeding her children. As we all do. She popped some peas in a cup and cross hatched the chips and now she’s a villain hellbent on shaming regular mums?
Holy shit sticks on toast there’s better things to be outraged about.
Let’s calm it down with the outrage over every little thing. Ok? It’s really unattractive.
Outrage is the supreme privilege of people living a fortunate life. Only people living in safety and comfort, with no concern for how hard some people live, can be so bloody outraged about kids’ dinners and good looking supermodels.
How about we save our outrage for genuinely outrageous stuff? Like child abuse. Childhood poverty. Animal cruelty. Stuff that matters and needs some outrage for change to happen.
It takes a lot for me to be outraged. Unless something is directed at me personally or affects my life, I tend to let it slide. I watch the news and read the papers so I know what else is going on in the world and how much better I have it than the vast majority of people. So yeah, I’m not going to lose my mind because a supermodel looks like a supermodel or because another mother is better at making dinner than I am. Plus, I’m just too tired.
Ask yourself this, next time you feel the outrage rising:
1. Does it affect me directly?
2. Will it still upset me in two months time?
3. Will my outrage change ANYTHING?
My guess is you can answer no to all three questions, nearly every single time.
Do you get outraged easily or do you tend to laugh at the crazy anger that boils up over silly things? Should I get more outraged now and then?
So this is where the link up starts: Add your post below and hop around to some of the other links and say hello to the ace bloggers that participate. You’ll find some new gems!
Bron (Maxabella Loves), Sonia (Life Love and Hiccups) and Kelly (A Life Less Frantic) host the party every Friday night, starting at 8pm and closing on Sunday at midnight. You can add your link anywhere and it will show up on all four blogs.